Mentality

I don't know how? or why? i'm feeling like this, that plague of sickness that exists in my gut. The stress in my head and the constant belief that i'm stuck in this rut. Is there anyway of escaping this mental illness that has taken over my life?. with all that's going on with me how am i expected to become anyone's wife. The medication doesn't help me much, sometimes it makes me feel worse. if only i could find a way of breaking myself free of this torturous curse. I know that there is no one who can make me feel better, its something I've got to do on my own. I have to get up, get on with it and grow myself a backbone. Its easy for others to say as they don't seem to understand mental illness. they just think that the way in which i act is down to my own silliness. maybe so but i'm trying, and it is such a hard illness to beat. though when i do i will be happy again, back to normal and my life will be complete.