Matter of Fact

This is my diary of calamity, Of my downward spiral through insanity. It kind of hurt as I fell Through the 9 circles of Hell, Like my mind's circuits had failed, But as I emerged, I could tell That not an iota had changed, As I'd hoped for and prayed, As I awoke to the same Choke hold on my brain. Sometimes I hate every Single thing about myself. Sometimes I think I'd be Better off without myself, Whatever that means. There hasn't been a second In this life I didn't doubt myself. The most obvious thing About me is my shame. The only remotely hot thing About me is my name, And no woman in her right mind Would ever want to share it with me, And this is what i carry with me. Time to come to terms with that. So many heartbreaks I should've learned from that. Beauty and a beast? Sure, But beauty and a freak? Who's ever heard of that. I will forever be alone, I've got my word on that. It's not a choice, it's not an oath, It's just a matter of fact.