Mass Murderer

i battled the urge for years . i can no more . i have never been much of a morning person . recent engagements have left me bruised , worn out and sore. the good in me...gone . i brand myself , no longer decent . it began one still night ... i was sound asleep . suddenly i felt an evil presence above me . slowly i opened my eyes ..a battle...minutes pass , and then not even a peep. the letters were no more than their name had suggested..'bits'....sigh. one more day had passed . i sat staring into my lethal hands , wondering what was to come . i suddenly found myself swatting air .. a stupid little bee ! the scent of honey was left behind as i ruined its plans to sting me . after taking the life , i continued my stare . as i slept , seemingly i crept through a jungle towards a very scary sound . just beyond some sugar and brush , there it stood ...a tiger . i remember thinking to myself ...i shall not be your prey. famous last words , " they're grrreat " ... sounds flaky i'll admit . as corny as it sounds , it doesn't stop there . my next victim wasn't far off . noisy little creature ...call of the morning ...the crack of dawn . i squeezed it's neck..screeching , reminiscent of a squad car . i had never before seen a green rooster . still tired .....yawn. do unto others as you would have them do unto you . i bit his neck as hard as i could , the taste of chocolate in my mouth . the count was down ..frank and boo ran away . another murder i did commit . ashamed of my guilty pleasure ...my head due south . i was pecked upon the head and neck . i won't lie , i was scared . my first thought ...tou-can play at this game . but then i just shot him . the colorful bird lay dead... my life had been spared. sam , as i called him ...talk again , he must not . a ship in the distance , now near . a crew of ten and the man in blue . they never even knew i was there . luck had been in my corner . the old cap'n was a fierce opponent , but his death way over due . with a swing of my spoon there was a crunch ...a monster taking hold . the list grows as i live , you see .... alpha bits ,honey nut cheerios ,frosted flakes ,corn flakes ,count chocula ,fruit loops ,cap'n crunch ...a real life thriller , for i am a crazy son of a b_tch....in the morn , always exhausted , that will one day be well known as ....the infamous cereal killer !