Manic Ii

03/1/16 My mind and thoughts are in a state of manic, Cue the panic, The thoughts overpowering my brain feel real and satanic, I am now in a state of extreme manic. I’m sad, But now I’m happy, But wait, I’m sad again, I just want these annoying, anxious thoughts to end, My emotions I now have to suspend, And though I don’t want to, as a result I’m losing friends, Only because it’s myself that I have to defend, Only because I don’t know when the next episode will happen again, So I apologize if you don’t agree with my amends, But to me this all makes logical sense, And honestly it’s because I’m very apprehensive. I don’t know what caused “this,” Come to think of it I could never remember being “normal,” as a little kid, Stopping my sentences amid, No one ever really cared about the accomplishments I did. For most of my life I’ve been depressed, Now that I think about it, it was always there, just more so suppressed, My battle scars have truly made my life a mess, And if I could confess and even take a wild guess, It'll always feel like my heart is about to jump straight out of my chest, And no matter how hard I try to give my best, All of my progress is taken over by unwanted stress. I’m up and full of energy, But now I’m feeling kind of low and full of misery. I’ve never been able to push the suicidal thoughts out of mind, I don’t know how or why I’m ready to die, But through my poetry I try to confide, Because believe it or not there are others with thoughts such as mine, That have dealt with my same struggles for an extended amount of time, And though we can appear to look fine, We are not fine, we are trapped and forced to be confined, Together we need to bind, Bind against the devil and refuse to sign, Let’s band together and take back our lives! It’s unknown what exactly caused it, But I’m a fighter and I refuse to succumb to this ****. *P.S. For you my lovely, stray strong because you're not alone 1,4,3 *