Mama Say

Sundays we hears de preacher's prays Hopes ends on ropes, swings 'n sways Gots ya nothin' jus' coz yer black Laws gets bent but ya pays no mind Give up tryin', no peace ta find Gots ya nothin' jus' coz yer black Three fifths human ain't enough Dat yoke's too heavy, way too tough Gots ya nothin' jus' coz yer black Whitey gettin' mo, always will He don't care if blood does spill Gots ya nothin' jus' coz yer black Forget 'bout de chillun ages past They growd up broken, if they last Gots ya nothin' jus' coz yer black Sorry baby, I done no good Best not born in this neighborhood I tried to do de best I could Gots ya nothin' coz yer Mamas black

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem.

Please Login to post a comment

Iris E. S-Lewis

Date: 3/13/2021 9:11:00 AM

Thanks Gregory, you and Susan Ashley added joy to my morning. Her comment to your, "Mama Say", and your dimension of compassion I reveled in. Poet like you gives fuel to my imagination. Peace, prosperity, and may you pass to the top of the contest.

Greg Gaul
Date: 3/14/2021 3:30:00 PM

Iris, thanks so much for your positive input on the poem and Susan and my repartee. As you obviously know, taking risks and experimenting in poetry can be challenging. So many poets see things one way. You, on the other hand, are experienced and open. That is validating and helpful to know. I'm most appreciative of your visit and comments.

Susan Ashley

Date: 3/9/2021 12:17:00 PM

Dear Greg, your vernacular poem is deep and heavy with dark emotion. Generational struggle and hardship, despair and heartbreak is captured and wrenched to life through the harrowing intimacy of this powerful portrayal. The repeating line is used to poignant effect, especially in the last stanza where the slight shift in words strikes like a gut-punch. Best wishes for a win with this affecting and thought provoking piece. Your golden pen never fails you nor me, my friend. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

Susan Ashley
Date: 3/9/2021 6:55:00 PM

Stepping out of your own shoes into someone else's is a great use of dramatic and creative license. I applaud your empathy, to see life through another's eyes, to give it voice so eloquently, to be willing to internalize their struggles, and then, give it a pulse with your talented pen. Most can only write from their own narrow perspective, quite limiting their artistic experience I think. I have spoken in an old man's voice in my poem "The Irony Of Fate". To speak in another's voice takes one who is open and willing to surrender to different facets of their artistic soul.. I think your artistic soul gives itself readily to emotions and freedoms of expression, and dares the reader to be transported by the same. You're a poetic rebel and I revel in it! :) A shortsighted audience has been the bane of many great artists and poets (like Vermeer and John Keats).. consider yourself in great company, my friend :)) Your intellect, the freedom of your pen and your talent are to be admired.

Greg Gaul
Date: 3/9/2021 4:41:00 PM

I may have overstepped with this poem to this audience. Maybe. Attribution (a white man writing the voice of a black women) may haunt me. That being said, you Susan, surely get it and I thank you sincerely for it. It helps to have support. Be well dear poetess.