Madness

The wait gets longer and the frustration mounts, staying indoors seems depressive, you want to stay out long. When even the cool lingerie and the dashing ear-studs don't help you hog onto dollops of ice-cream while the chocolates and wafers have no end! You blankly look at the TV screen and only when it is over you realize your favorite song was playing... Trying to find solace in all the books that teach you magical things like - ''If you can dream it, you can have it!'' And you suddenly have utter faith in your dreams which lasts only for a moment! You sit staring at your guests, not even trying to pretend you’re listening to what they're chattering about...you hate them and they can see it in your face! You open your cupboard and your clothes tumble onto the floor, you have the courtesy to push them back in, simultaneously glancing at the ten day old stand-by note on your phone screen saying - ''Tidy your cupboard''. Your gaze settles down on the price tag dangling out of the heap of clothes, you tug at it, out comes a Tee and you wonder ''Why the hell did I purchase it when I’m never going to wear it?'' Your sister is on a shopping spree and drags u along. While she's grabbing those fancy clothes you're standing looking at the escalator, weighing it's pros & cons and also wondering what it would be like if it's use was STRICTLY prohibited to the over-weight individuals??? Your phone is ringing, you give it a second's glance and continue reading your book...the person calls two more times, and because she's a close friend u drop a message saying ''Sorry, ttyl...have guests at home!'' It's 12:30 in the night, looking at your mobile you make a silent wish - ''Let THE message tone ring!'' But when nothing happens you shove in the headphones, skipping all the songs that could make you sad since you've promised yourself you'll not cry tonight! After almost ten happy attempts (songs) the hope falters and the determination weakens.....You break down & no matter then how much you try, the tears seem to have a mind of their own, they finally take you back to that ''Emptiness'' and once again you find yourself desperately holding back to your faith, your sanity and that thing called love...you just don't want to let it go!! Soon it is a new day and the madness starts all over again...pretensions...to be listening, to be happy, to be smiling, to be alive!