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Lost In Time and Space

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i love Villanelles as much as I love Pantoums, I never before wrote one, so consider Soup my playground here ;)

LOST IN TIME AND SPACE Lift the curtain from your face! Show truth to everyone around We lost ourselves in time and space. Too fast too hard we run this race Too few good moments we have found Lift the curtain from your face! Too many people with bad ways Denied our meaning, fell unbound We lost ourselves in time and space. Your every step in fault, retrace Halt each assault on tortured ground Lift the curtain from your face! See this world, its too fast pace The prideless way we spin around We lost ourselves in time and space. Wasted home world, without grace For we killed everything that's sound. Lift the curtain from your face! We lost ourselves in time and space. *** December 29, 2016

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Kevin Leake

Date: 12/30/2016 8:47:00 AM

Really Enjoyed this style Darren, A wonderful poem of time and space!!! Best Wishes Kevin

Darren White
Date: 12/31/2016 1:27:00 PM

Thank you Kevin, It can be really powerful, this form, I like it.

Jason Williams

Date: 12/30/2016 5:26:00 AM

I've never wrote in the Villanelle style, but always loved this form. The repetition can really show the impact of a single line. Great job Boo! ;-)

Darren White
Date: 12/30/2016 8:32:00 AM

\o/ Thanks <3 It is such a wonderful form, I can never compete with nthe masters, but oh, do I like to write Pantoum and the like.

Doug Vinson

Date: 12/29/2016 8:10:00 PM

I feel it, Darren. That unbinding can be very great (as in size or impact). Fast, yes, so fast - so fast the wind pushes the curtain against our face, faster still - we forget it's there, it becomes part of us.

Darren White
Date: 12/30/2016 12:18:00 AM

It does yes, and we become blind, too blind, and greedy and destructive.

Claudia Polydoro

Date: 12/29/2016 6:49:00 PM

Just... wow! I second what Tim said - loved how you expressed it - amazing one Darren. <3

Darren White
Date: 12/30/2016 12:17:00 AM

Thanks Clau :) I love these forms of poetry, you restrict yourself, but then, when it's done in a good way, it suddenly comes alive, these repeated lines can be incredibly powerful.

Tim Smith

Date: 12/29/2016 3:27:00 PM

I'm not too versed in these forms either Darren...I usually leave those to Andrea or Richard...yours is great...love how the repeated lines carry the message throughout.

Darren White
Date: 12/30/2016 12:16:00 AM

Thank you Tim!!! I like these poetry forms with 'restraints'. I don't pretend I am good at it either indeed, but I like it. It's in a way like translating....

Chris Green

Date: 12/29/2016 2:59:00 PM

Very cool Darren, you did a great job with this form. I like how this felt all the way through.

Darren White
Date: 12/29/2016 3:02:00 PM

Thanks! It definitely needs polishing, but I felt it was good enough to post already. Just so happy I can post again \o/