Lost In the Sticks

I got lost out in the sticks and ended up on Deliverance St. in a place called Hillbilly Haven, where legend has it that people who live there are still backwards and have pet ravens, and to make things worse I was about to have a sorry fit, because I got a flat tire and also ended up in a dirt ditch, and not having my cell phone and needing some help, decided on this rural road better start roaming, heard a banjo playing nearby so in that direction I thought I'd go, came to a cabin where a barefooted banjo player stopped playing and spit out his chewing tobacco, "I said hi I have a flat tire can you please help me?" He looked at me all mean and with his toothless mouth said "NO!" and added "you get outta hea!" and before I knew it he had a shotgun and shot it into the air, then he opened up his front door and let his hound dog out, he said "sick em Daisy May!" well just like Fay Wray in King Kong I let out a scream and a shout, and ended up being chased through a cornfield which was a maze, the hound dog running closer in pursuit of my running heels, I thought to myself I feel like I'm in some southern horror movie this is absolutely surreal! Then I finally came out of the cornfield and ran up to another home, where a woman who looked like Ma Kettle threw the hound dog a bone, she started laughing and said looks like Jeds at it again, gave me a smile and even offered me some of her cornbread, I said no please can I just use your phone, she said of course and pointed to it which was on the wall, to make a long story short my sons came out after making the desperate call, and when they fixed my flat then my engine even stalled, so leaving my car behind we all piled into my sons little ford focus, and drove past the sign which said "No Trespassers!" which apparently I hadn't noticed!