Lost
Do you still search mirrors, looking for me?
Do you now look outward–in to where you were,
but have never really been?
Like a stubborn cobweb, you dust my tired mind
and pool my older tears as my feelings rewind.
You sought to be lost upon untreaded paths
seeded with selfish young wrath.
I am sadly sure that you torched any existing map.
I had to be me - more than just your sought need.
I had to grow - but you said ‘no’, so I had to be freed.
You paled with cold, refused my warmth and disappeared.
You vanished. To me, it will never focus as something clear.
You, my you – lost in time, lost in place.
Most times, I steer towards a good cope.
Other times I feel you should have to know
all the parts of me that your lost, cost.
We bought our dreams, first kept in a free box.
We grew them on baby powder and giggles.
Our childhood dreams were warm escapes that felt nice,
but we aged and I matured. You secured resistance.
Expensive are dream rates when loss is the price.
One good life lost. Two potential joys tossed. Pointless sacrifice.
Sometimes remembrances linger more light and I may then think,
maybe you live happily lost in our old, free, dream box.
... CayCay Jennings
February 4, 2016
Copyright © Caycay Jennings | Year Posted 2016
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