Loneliness

I've been seeking to blend, in with people and at least make a friend. Most times I use my pen, To try to get out of my lonely den. So many times has loneliness pushed me over the brim, That the future of my social life looks grim. Letting lonely birds fly in lovely words How hard lonely words dawdle as lovely birds But to contest, there is need to digest The spectacular quest of nature's unrest While Lagos' atmosphere keeps buzzing My lonely humble pen keep aggrandizing Sometimes I just feel like ending it all. But through poems and books i try to avoid death's call For years i've been trying to get out of my life's miserable stream. Mainly i just stay put and daydream. Many times I just watch the rain. Though it does nothing to alleviate my pain. Yet, the time is still much younger Than the failing recurrent hunger Forward and backward without background Aiming to steer man beneath the ground And make insects feed on his remains Feasting with gladness blood like champagnes Though its the fifth day of the week. My thoughts of being alone have gone up a peak . It's so absurd that I pretend to be okay outside, And that my true feelings,i have to hide. Yesterday I tried to make a friend , But like always, my efforts met a miserable end. Retired once again to myself in peace And continues to make my witty tease Till the weather will no longer be for two That my body system will be so glue Gearing up my down spirit so well The bail of my dreadful thought's cell I know that am always melancholic, but I can't help it like a drunkard will always be an alcoholic. In my brain, my self-esteem is gradually going down a drain. When I write , my family tries to encourage me, but when I show them my works they turn away and let me be. Like a wandering chaff Whose end is of no watch than laugh Youth weekend with less commitment Buried in lustful but awesome accompaniment Traveling to fro the hearty car Whose horn warns not to mar I haven't always been so moody, I once had a friend who was also a foodie. She read all I wrote and gave me courage to carry on, But even that now seems like a con. Reading the books ,she praised to me seems like it's just bad. But still the absence of her presence makes me sad. Then within me, I can see the end Afar with a toast wandering in it's blend To lure the vein to stop on a spot For the running blood to go blot That dreaming will turn reality Buying more times to enjoy eternity Will Simon & Wems Henry Temmy