Light Verse and Nonsense Verse V

LIGHT VERSE AND NONSENSE VERSE V Less Heroic Couplets: Word to the Unwise by Michael R. Burch I wanted to be good as gold, but being good, as I’ve been told, requires something, discipline, I simply have no interest in! Villanelle of an Opportunist by Michael R. Burch I’m not looking for someone to save. A gal has to do what a gal has to do: I’m looking for a man with one foot in the grave. How many highways to hell must I pave with intentions imagined, not true? I’m not looking for someone to save. Fools praise compassion while weaklings rave, but a gal has to do what a gal has to do. I’m looking for a man with one foot in the grave. Some praise the Lord but the Devil’s my fave because he has led me to you! I’m not looking for someone to save. In the land of the free and the home of the brave, a gal has to do what a gal has to do. I’m looking for a man with one foot in the grave. Every day without meds becomes a close shave and the razor keeps tempting me too. I’m not looking for someone to save: I’m looking for a man with one foot in the grave. Less Heroic Couplets: Shell Game by Michael R. Burch I saw a turtle squirtle! Before you ask, “How fertile?” The squirt came from its mouth. Why do your thoughts fly south? Helen Keller saw more than the stellar- visioned and the televisioned. —Michael R. Burch Antsy kids of the world, unite! You don't like facts, so fight! Call them all “haters,” those cool, calm debaters, then your mommies can tuck you in tight. —Michael R. Burch Ireland’s Ire has Landed The luck of the Irish has failed: Trump’s landed and cannot be jailed! From Killarney to Derry the natives are very despondent and bombs have been mailed. Donald Trump has alarmed Country Clare: the Irish are crying, “Beware! He won’t pay his tax, his manners are lax, and what the hell’s up with his hair?” The Donald has landed in Doonbeg (Ireland). Why? For a noon beg: he’s running real low on cash, so you know he’ll fit like a freakin’ square peg. The luck of the Irish has faltered. Trump’s there and he cannot be haltered. From Killarney to Derry the natives are very insistent his visa be altered. Poets laud Justice’s high principles. Trump just gropes her raw genitals. —Michael R. Burch Zip It by Michael R. Burch Trump pulled a stunt, wore his pants back-to-front, and now he’s the butt of bald jokes: “Is he coming, or going?” “Eeek! His diaper is showing!” But it’s all much ado, says Snopes. Keywords/Tags: light verse, humor