Lifes Tasks

Oh how wonderful it is to be alive. Oh how wonderful it is to be able to grow; mentally and maybe even physically. But what kind of happiness do you extract from the success you achieve? The rush of happiness that cannot last until you further push yourself once more after, and then again, then again. It's like Heroine, you will never have the rush til you inject more, and more. I, myself, have experienced a tremendous amount of success ever since my Senior year had started three weeks ago, on August 27th 2012, or even since High school started since I slacked off in Middle School. I have felt the satisfying feeling of accomplishing good grades and continuing to make them even after. I can take myself to big places if I really wanted to and this is what I presently choose and otherwise in the future, will it be the same as well. This.. Knowledge.. I want to improved it, I want to know more and sometimes the laziness I feel is something that can easily stand in my way but what laziness do I know as of now? Not much if that's what you were expecting. I am trying my best at this point. Only the Fates can detect what kind of further lies ahead for me and... my heart. Hm'.. My heart. That muscle beating soundly inside my chest. How can I elaborate on such a confusing emotion container. When does mind over heart actually happen? Sometimes I ask myself these questions, questions that will never be answered yet I can only learn from my mistakes and the impatience that my past has brought upon me. The spoiled nature that could have been something completely different than what I ever imagined til this day. I would love to know the cure of which selfishness blocks. I would love to know the reality of my very being. And yet I feel this urge to stomp on myself emotionally because I feel such emptiness when I can't do something right or when I am seen as 'mere' in the eyes of those I care for. Am I really so mere? Or am I just not intelligent in this sector? Has my experience anything to do with it? I want to be the kind of perfect for those I love. But with blurry eyes, I cannot establish this. I will try harder. I swear I will; it may take me some time, but I can do it. I know I can. The temptations around me matter not in my soul, they don't even truly matter in this self conscious mind but even so, I will not let it drag me down. I will work for it. I will work against the misery of feeling useless in these times and too proud in others. Just believe in me. Just tell me I can do it and the pressure of your passionate words will lead to no end. They are limitless. Can I be YOUR perfection?