Life's Ol' Rodeo

You know you been too long at life’s ol’ rodeo, When them jeans get too tight and that ol’ paunch does grow— And then your teeth fall out instead of bein’ knocked And you pay entry fees with prize buckles you hocked. That’s when they call you Curly ‘cause you ain’t got hair, Except in your ears and nose where they’s lot to spare! Then sittin’ on wood fences is what you avoids, ‘Cause like as not they’ll flare up your ol’ hemorrhoids! Buckin’ bulls and broncs is something way in your past, Rockin’ chairs and Lazy Boys now make your life last. So now instead of hard tack, you’d rather just pass— Eatin’ hot, spicy grub just seems to give you gas. You done been far too long at life’s ol’ rodeo, You’d rather watch TV than help a horse to foal— You ain’t cowboy if you quit chewin’ your toback— Might as well hock your saddle and all your dern tack. So if you sit on porches waitin’ for your God— Better get off your duff before you get the nod! ‘Cause that boss in the sky don’t want no so-and-so, What ain’t least down there watchin’ life’s ol’ rodeo!