Life In the Bottle

As I stagger to my room…my vision in a haze and my guts steering like a stew, my eyes look like a ripe red pepper and my bladder is filled up like a sponge that fell into a pool. My whole life has been one great big inaugural ball, with only one exception… I was the candidate that no one would ever choose…never mind the formalities just pass me the booze. A bottle of Chardonnay or be it a can of old Pabst Blue Ribbon beer? Never mind the time of day…its noon somewhere in the world today, just pour me a drink and let me party like it was 1999 all over again. Hell, my day starts with me looking into a half full glass of whatever is my drink of the day before and ends with one half filled the same way it began once I pass out. Dude my family just never seems to leave me alone…it’s always, “Bob you’ve had one too many” and blah… blah or something like that, man I don’t remember it’s all a daze in my head. Before I use to be the center of attention at all the family functions, now I’m the last to know when the next one will come or when one has passed. Man…just past me the damn bottle and I’ll tell them where they can all hold their next get together without me? In a hot place called…Hell! My ex can bar me from my own home, but she can’t bar me from the local bar…she can keep my dog and the damn kids too, as long as she gives me beer glass collection with those Klondike horses racing thru the snow! I don’t care…anymore, just leave me alone and pass me by if you see me lying in some gutter on the street. I don’t care…anymore, just let me live my life in a bottle and I’ll keep my broken heart there too.