Life In Rewind

By Chad Carlson Today I looked at my life in rewind Found the good in mostly bad times Smiled a lot and even laughed a little Until I got to the part in the middle So much pain in the decade of my 20's Left me a shell of myself lost and lonely Lost my job, my son, my family and house My car, my mind too for certain no doubt I turned to drink I turned to drugs Those things never left me only left me with a buzz There are literally months that I can't recall Until the day my friends dragged me out of my car I had it in my garage with all the doors closed duct taped to the tailpipe was a green garden hose The other end was taped into the driver side window Spewing in the toxic fumes for me to breathe in slow I became dizzy and drifted off to sleep It was calm it was tranquil I thought I would finally have some peace But before I was actually deceased My friends came and intervened They were concerned about my well being And the fact that it had been weeks since I was last seen They heard the engine in my closed up garage They kicked in the side door and pulled me from my car I won't say their names but they know who they are There's no way that I should be alive How did they know to come looking on that fateful almost fatal night Thanks to the 3 of you I owe you my life *This event happened 3 days before I had to move out of my house. I lost my car 2 days after that* I started going to nightly NA/AA meetings Soon I was running them because I believed in their meaning Now I only use medical cannabis because of my severe pain I rarely drink anymore because I've learned to refrain I wish that I never touched the hard drugs They definitely left their mark None of it was good I should've known that from the start