Less Than 22

I had a little misunderstanding 'bout a fellas size in shoes, the other night. I said he wore a size eight boot, he said he wore a twelve, and you know he's right. So Mister if you shake my hand, don't shake it all that hard, I may yell out, 'cos when they take the bandage off I may be able, just about, To hold the contents of a half filled pint of stout. And Lady if you're whispering sweet nothings in my ear, don't lean too close, 'cos when they sewed it back they couldn't match up all the pieces, it looks gross. And a Taxi will be here in just a minute for to take this body home. 'cos that Gentleman outta the kindness of his heart, Had volunteered to cure my wanderlust to Roam. When they take the Cast off, I'll be able to walk As good as any other man Leastways a Man of Ninety that's been losin' touch with Reality, my friend. And after the Plastic surgery you won't recognise me,I won't look the same. At least that's what I'm hoping if this Guy should ever pass my way again. Well I bought twen quarts of beer for him, and don't you know I had just one or two. Then we decide to take a walk unto a Nightclub, where the Ladies all look fine. And when the night was over the Conversation turns to which girl goes Home with Who. But he don't talk nice, he just hits me twice, and I Hit the Road, And he takes off with mine. So i lie here in my Hospital bed and Crave in earnest For a beer to Ease the Pain As I gaze upon the Ceiling, as I listen to the Rhythm of the Rain And I Sighed, as I Realised, i'd Socialised with a Certified Insane And I hoped and prayed to god that he's just never gonna pass my way again.