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Original title: LONGING My dream was to ride Not on horseback, no, on your motorcycle, with you With my hair in the wind A whirling tornado of curls Lashing out at your back and helmet And my arms wrapped around you With my eyes closed While sunlight etched trees we passed In lively paintings in my brain But here I am Sitting between your legs So you can keep me upright And your one arm tightly around me While holding the reins with the other I close my eyes and lean against you Feeling in your warm chest A little fire burning within you and I Perhaps that is all the motorcycle I need Being with you on horseback While you prevent me from falling And I am keeping you in the saddle Perhaps that is what we do, metaphor for our lives. Originally written October 15, 2016 ***
ON HORSEBACK We're galloping wildly My hair in the wind lashing my curls against your back, holding on tightly to you Through my closed eyelids I see silhouettes of trees we pass. My dream, there, with you. Instead you hold me up between your legs. Your warm chest keeping me from falling. One arm safely around me, holding the reins with the other. We're glowing softly, together Perhaps this is all I need: Being with you on horseback While you prevent me from falling, and I am keeping you in the saddle, metaphor for our lives. Rewritten October 21, 2016 for contest: Least Viewed Sponsor: Marugu MO

Copyright © | Year Posted 2016




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Date: 10/23/2016 10:48:00 PM
These are both fantastic. I don't think I can choose one over the other :)
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Darren White
Date: 10/24/2016 1:46:00 AM
Haha, I like that. I love them both too, but I used just too many words in the first one!
Date: 10/21/2016 8:42:00 AM
I remember commenting on the original Darren have got to say I LOVE the re-write even better than the original poem:-) good luck in the contest:-) hugs Jan xx
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Darren White
Date: 10/21/2016 9:08:00 AM
Thanks, Jan :D
Date: 10/21/2016 6:16:00 AM
Nice work. :)
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Darren White
Date: 10/21/2016 8:05:00 AM
Thank you! :)
Date: 10/21/2016 5:32:00 AM
Sunlit poem ... sun of intellect ... GL ...
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Darren White
Date: 10/21/2016 8:05:00 AM
Thank you so much :)

Book: Shattered Sighs