Last Week I Couldn'T Spell Homophobe

Last Week I Couldn’t Spell Homophobe (Now I Are One) When I was just a lad I leaned from mom and dad To treat each human being with respect, But now that I am grown I nearly stand alone, You see I’m branded, ‘Not Politically Correct!’ Oh I have my own suspicions, When I argue for traditions, for my folks were steeped in the red, white, and blue. And I would have bet good money That most people thought it funny When ol’ John opined about ‘A Boy Named Sue!’ But somewhere along the line Someone changed ‘the bottom line’ And for years I wasn’t quite sure how to be. And I guess it wasn’t fair When I said I didn’t care, In the times I found that ‘he’ was really ‘she’. So they re-arranged my life, Adding to my normal strife, And I tread on easy water for I fear That if I don’t watch what I say, I’ll offend some person gay, Just because when I was younger, they were ‘*****’. I suppose that there were those Among my heroes and my foes, Whose persuasions were much different than mine. But what really baffles me, When they came out to be free, That somehow, my beliefs now crossed the line! Well, I’m much older now, And I’ve made myself a vow, Since I can never be more than what I am; I’ll always treat you with respect, Hell, I even get the check, and if you’re *****, I just don’t give a damn!