Kind of war

The way it starts Is like an addiction. If I were to decide which, This one takes the cake. The room is empty Save for two. No intention Until contact is made. Conversation carries And then we move on. Mostly messing around Until I hand him the paper. I pull down the board In hopes to delay him. He slips through the gap And then he’s in front of me. It’s a war I seem to have started. Playful fighting As we pass the paper between us. Pushing, pulling, touching And me trying to pin him. I weasel away But he catches me each time. Grabs me by the legs And lifts me down onto the stool. Nearly falling, But he’s got me. Like he always has. Every part of us Holds out on intimacy. I make an escape. Get it back to him. We’ve done a round trip Of the library room. ‘Keep it and I’ll give you a kiss.’ It’s followed by ‘wow’ As if I considered And affirmed to this bribe. He grabs me by the shoulders And kisses me quick. A single peck on the lip Until I pass the paper back. I never agreed. ‘We had a deal,’ He says with confidence. As I grab his bag And stick the paper in. I’m slipping away To the back of the room When he grabs me once And kisses me again. The bag is taken from my hands. I can’t help smiling. We’re still at war But the battle has changed. It’s not between us But now our mouths. Back against the counter, His hands roam frantic and wild. Moving up along the spine In desperate search of skin. When he pulls away I imagine it’s the end Until I’m leaving And he reaches for me again. Lips crashing together, His hands lower And I mimic. ‘Look who finally got brave,’ He says with a smile. ‘Goodbye,’ he whispers Breathless and beaming. We share a hug And leave together. I just want to know How this is fair. How does it come So easy to him? I want to know How its fair. When it comes to him, My brain is quiet. I catch the edge of his calm That gives me a break From the storm in my head. I’m never worried. Nothing is forced. It’s easy and comfortable And I never want it to end. This is me Enjoying when we kiss. I’d do it again Even just as friends.