Keep My Soda Cold

I notice more drinks are being sold warm these days If I took a sip of one, I would puke, so keep them away I don't want alcohol, just a soothing drink Nothing exotic, with onion or garlic, that would make my breath stink I really don't care who serves it, a host or hostess, mellow or bold One request, please, just keep my soda cold Women or men, young or old, I have all kinds of fans What are you into, I got it all here at your demand Groupies, singles, the marrying type Internet, cable, the concerts, it's all part of the hype I have women that want to have my child, so I'm told I don't want anything, but my soda cold Everyone has a vice that drives them on I just to drink my cold soda from dusk til dawn All the hopefuls can just step aside I don't dream of women or the perfect life With my money, people can be bought or sold I ask nothing from you as long as you keep my soda cold Women can showboat with all their might Ladies, don't even ask me if you can spend the night The right woman will really have to break the mold I am very demanding from people, especially when it comes to keeping my soda cold It's time to throw a tantrum for not getting my way So I walk out, this ruins my agent's day Stop picking your nose, you will not find any gold Everyone must know, I just want my soda cold