Just a thought

Where does my mind go if I let it roam today To a time I didn't know storms could get inside When I thought someone else handled the world And all I needed to do was exist It's painfully tiring to think of everything What if, what if, what if Combined with distrust of Contractors, doctors, police, self I don't want to ever need anyone I'm too afraid everything is impossible to fix What if no ones knows much more than me We're all wandering through without a clue I'm afraid of the wasted time I'm afraid of the invested time What if I open my eyes to realise Nothing I took for granted was secure Could I start small, being safe and dry Build outwards but without anything left to chance Or would I swoon, too tired and ask to be saved Settle for the safety of a blanket round me Sheltered, with someone else doing the thinking Wait here, they'd say And I'd wait til the end of days, lost in thought