July Twenty Fifth, Ninety Ninety Six

Xxvi+ marriage anniversary (mine) recalls first disastrous date with future missus approximately waltzing matt tilde two dozen plus years ago Tex Mex Connection 201 E Walnut Street North Wales, Pennsylvania, 19454 every entree included beans maybe refried or otherwise effectively laid siege mine delicate constitution quickly felt bloated ready to explode ala Hindenburg Airship rushed out restaurant like bat out of hell twofold purpose accomplished desperately needed to eliminate gaseous buildup airing banal courtesy yours truly as kapellmeister aired rendition, viz Die Fledermaus for sphincter muscle hence, faster than Usain Bolt dashed out front door plus needed to tap MAC inadequate wallet stash cash thus, aye hightailed to nearest ATM, or rather courtesy rectal explosion blasted lovely gaseous body analogously, effectively, gravity free whizzing, whirring, whining balloon a bit far afield incidental bank woe gastrointestinal directive resolved forced effort taxed derriere all told alight propulsion natural gas fueled lovely bones within flash far surpassing long held Guinness Book world's record Jackass the ripper former flatulence champion claimed, nonetheless I safely landed far from madding crowd analogous pulling pin out hand grenade gluteus maximus burnt to crisp necessitated immediate diversion local drug store purchased preparation H discreetly patted, palmed, pacified scorched cheeky bum suffered first-degree burns hemorrhoid cream balm alleviated buttuck blasts fallout quickly reunited with my gal slightly concerned about whereabouts related personal anecdote tuckus thru remains of otherwise humdrum hours concluding asinine antics, where approximately half past monkey's ass driving lass back home found me exerting effort suppressing recurring rumblies in domain tumbly. Posterior script: the above account unsolicited plug for satisfied patron asper jumpstarting behind the times car rear ring buttuck blaster beastie boy.