Jim the Lumberjack
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Jim was a lumberjack from Borehamwood
A chainsaw mishap took off his manhood
His Love life was a mess
He now suffers from stress
So he made himself one out of oak wood .
He went to bed one night full of desire
Sue his wife put on her sexy attire
Things got steamy and hot
He gave it all he got
But with the friction his oak thing caught fire .
His poor wife shouted " For crying out loud"
The poor woodcutter no longer stood proud
His once oaken member
Was a glowing ember
A blackened stump he's no longer endowed.
The smoke alarms in the house all went off
Sue and Jim splutterd and started to cough
Fire men broke down the door
Saw Jim's dong on the floor
Couldn't believe Jim had used it to boff.
So every night when they both go to bed
They both read books and watch TV instead
Then he had a great thought
And the next day he bought
A ten inch piece of pipe made out of lead.
In his workshop he worked on it all day
The next night asked Sue "Well what do you say"
She couldnt help laughing
At the size of his thing
She said" You're not coming near me, no way. "
Written on the 9th June 2020
Copyright © Tom Cunningham | Year Posted 2020
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