Its Getting Better

I am sorry that I am not the person I used to be. And I am sorry that I let my anxiety paralyze me. And I am sorry that I excessively appolagize when you tell me I should, But I can't help it when your crippling perfection feels like bullets. Shooting and piercing. Destroying every ounce of feeling, I once had, for you. But really I'm glad the feelings are gone. Because I am no longer being tread on And my thought no longer consist of sadness and regret. Chaos is no longer spewing in my head. I don't have to jealously listen to you talk about her. Wishing and hoping the memories would blurr. Thinking maybe we could make new ones, just you and me. But I never took the chance because of my damn anxieties. You used to tell me you have dreams of her, and she runs through your mind like it's a treadmill. But I was to busy admiring you eyes and pretending this wasn't going downhill.. But now it's a year later and I am thinking about how your eyes used to glisten. While your probably imagining hers, thinking the same impression. So maybe the feelings aren't gone.. I'm starting to think they'll never be. But that's okay, because at least I'm realizing, I don't need you to be happy.