Its a Stitch Up

It’s A Stitch Up I struck a match and the gas cooker did me So a chap called Sidney gave me a kidney I didn’t steal it and I didn’t beg But a fellow called Clegg gave me a leg My best mate Paul gave his left eyeball But my uncle Jock gave nothing at all Thanks to Steve there’s an arm up my sleeve And the fact I can breath is hard to believe But the praises I’ve sung cos Burt gave me a lung Fall short of Fred Young who made me well hung And so I thank Fred for my prowess in bed But if it wasn’t for Ted, I’d still have no head When I walk again I hope I will meet The geezer next door who gave me his feet Nobody knows who gave me my nose But a guy up my street gave me all of his toes Old Bobby Tutt gave me his gut The rider from Pizza Hut gave me his butt But how can I ever thank young Tommy Green Who gave me his heart and his liver and spleen But it seems all those people I never shall greet For when the gas blew, it blew up the street.