Itchy Bum

Sitting at the table, with prim and proper guests We only started eating after the food was blest. While chatting to the Vicar, I felt a sudden twitch My voice started trembling, because my bum began to itch. I wiggled on the chair, hoping to rub the itch away It would not bloody budge, the itch had come to stay. I poured the wine quite calmly, while wondering what to do. The itch was now quite vicious, my mind was in a stew. Though the itch had started slowly, it was now a raging pain I had to scratch it quickly, or I’d go insane. As my hand was moving downward, ready for a scratch They made me light the candles with a ruddy match. The meal dragged on so slowly, it seemed to take so long And every time I tried to scratch, my timing was wrong. But when the meal was over, the Vicar made us pray I prayed with such intensity, the itch just went away