Isolated In Pain

I have lost all distinction between day and night A constant absence of darkness is provided by fluorescent light No windows available to the outside world Living in isolation sans any modern day thrills Four bare walls, no bars, food slipped through a slot in the door Eating with my fingers because no telling what I would use utensils for I still taste the blood from the ear I bit off of that inmate I had to get out of general population no matter what it would take Regardless of what the prosecution claims Regardless of whom the newspaper’s headlines blame Regardless of what the forensics might suggest Regardless of what the jury thinks they know best I did not kill my wife I did not take away her life The wound on my head that paralyzed my body But allowed consciousness to remain and watch the act Was not self-inflicted As presented as fact There is no demon inside me who carried out this deed There is no psychosis brewing resulting in a murderous need A monster, it is true, is required to make such a mess But that monster was not me and I did not confess I was covered in her blood because I held her in my lap And gave her one last kiss good-bye There was no emotion in my voice on the 911 call Because with the lifeless body I held – all my emotions did die Actually, I am better off now, in this isolated state Where I am away from the public scrutiny and disdain I have no reason to want to continue to live I just know in the future someone else soon – will realize my pain The monster is still out there And he will strike again The look in his eyes showed too much joy But no one cares to believe in me It is easier this way Until his modus operandi once again is employed