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Insipid Nights

Insipid Nights (modern Tanka) They sleep together On a four foot bed Back to back they lie Facing the wall Miles apart.... ----------------------

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Susan Ashley

Date: 3/18/2018 10:40:00 AM

So close yet so far, Paul. Such a sad state of affairs illustrated in your deep and meaningful poem. Every line is powerfully expressive. Your third line is very provocative in how the use of the word 'lie' can be interpreted.. love it! There's no spice in this bland bed - not tonight, if ever. Superb poetry my wonderful friend! Warmest wishes. ~Susan

Susan Ashley
Date: 3/18/2018 3:52:00 PM

Lol! discernment or maybe just long-winded.. haha :))

Paul Callus
Date: 3/18/2018 1:50:00 PM

Thank you, Susan. I smile to myself as I realize that your meaningful ample feedback is much longer than the poem itself:) You definitely possess the power of discernment! ~ Warm regards // paul

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 4/3/2016 12:39:00 PM

Paul. This is 8th one I clicked on and I can't seem to find one I have not already read. so anyway, I really loved this one, the second time around!

Paul Callus
Date: 4/3/2016 1:04:00 PM

:) Thank you for enjoying it the second time round, Andrea! I should have warned you...the 9th click was the new one:) // paul

Cherl Dunn

Date: 3/19/2016 1:20:00 PM

Dear Paul Enjoyed the read it reminds me of my parents, married strangers lying side by side for years never taking the time to get to know one another, but living a lie of the perfect family, this brings back memories, I'm so glad me and my better half are friends, and lovers whom take the time to know one another everyday of our lives, love this Paul it makes me realize how truely lucky that I am, cheri

Paul Callus
Date: 3/19/2016 3:54:00 PM

Sorry that I brought you back memories which are not so nice, Cherl. but then I am glad that your relationship is going strong. May it last for many more years:) It is not luck, but the persons involved who contribute to a successful outcome! ~ Regards // paul

Olive Eloisa Guillermo - Fraser

Date: 3/17/2016 9:18:00 PM

Paul, what a four line poem, you got me truly there... the word lie there is a simple word yet its a clever one, the last line 2 words but a heavy finale.. =`) like it!!!! Don't worry about the reply, I know we are both busy in our own activities and priorities, I know you will not forget to reply on me.. =`) and waahhhhhh the internet connection hasn't been helping me much too... I was happy to post one... I hope I can make one sample for my contest.. Hugs and smiles! ~Olive Eloisa =`)

Paul Callus
Date: 3/19/2016 3:49:00 PM

Glad you like this tanka, Olive_eloi:) All newly weds should take notice of it and do their utmost to keep their love always fresh and alive:):) ~ I will be replying soon, except I've had little time for myself! Smiles & hugs ~~~ paul

Red Fiery

Date: 3/14/2016 9:06:00 PM

Dearest paul, I really admire this poem...came here to read it again...one of my fav !

Paul Callus
Date: 3/15/2016 3:08:00 PM

Thank you Red...a second visit is worth a lot; I too have been re-reading some of your earlier poems...a second bite at a cherry somehow tastes better:) hugs // paul

John Fleming

Date: 3/14/2016 4:19:00 PM

Fantastic little poem! And, I sadly suspect...So very, very true for so many, many couples. I should know - I have experienced it myself first hand! Superbly encapsulated, Paul. My very best regards...And warmest wishes. :) john

Paul Callus
Date: 3/14/2016 5:53:00 PM

Thank you for the insightful comments, John. Always a pleasure to have you visiting. ~ all the best // paul

Laura Leiser

Date: 3/14/2016 11:50:00 AM

A few words that say volumes...great write, Paul!

Paul Callus
Date: 3/14/2016 5:31:00 PM

Thank you, Laura. I'm sure that these few words got the message across! ~ Regards // paul

Jack Horne

Date: 3/13/2016 4:32:00 PM

oh, this says it all. love it

Paul Callus
Date: 3/14/2016 3:28:00 AM

It's been a nice surprise finding you here this morning, Jack:) Glad that you enjoyed this short write. All the best....paul

Carrie Richards

Date: 3/13/2016 12:34:00 PM

Oh my..so sad is this one! Many will relate to the despair of this story, told in few words. Well done, Paul.

Paul Callus
Date: 3/13/2016 1:53:00 PM

Thank you for the feedback, Carrie; I hope I haven't got too many people worrying about their relationships, now:) ~ Regards // paul

Joseph May

Date: 3/13/2016 9:17:00 AM

So close but yet so far...nicely penned Paul..

Paul Callus
Date: 3/13/2016 1:19:00 PM

Thank you, Joseph for stopping by. ~ Regards // paul

Timothy Hicks

Date: 3/12/2016 3:24:00 AM

OOhhhh I understand this one a lot (not me personally as I've never been married ... but I know couples like this). To be physically close, but emotionally distant is a much sadder situation to be in than vica-versa. How to repair a love gone cold? This is a gem, Paul, and like I've said before, I like that you aren't a slave to form, and are willing to part with rules for the sake of getting your message across. Adding this to my faves.

Paul Callus
Date: 3/12/2016 9:50:00 AM

Timothy, stoking lethargy back to life is possible; repairing a love gone cold is beyond my comprehension! The traditional Tanka would not have worked for me; extra words would have ruined the flow of thought. Thank you for your generosity...I am not often gifted with gems and favs:) ~ Have a nice day! // paul

Connie Marcum Wong

Date: 3/12/2016 12:56:00 AM

Sounds like a lot of married couples. I was always told not to go to bed mad and one of the half has to make that effort. This is how life really is Paul. Excellent!

Paul Callus
Date: 3/12/2016 9:28:00 AM

I was given that same advice, Connie, and it's worth heeding. Thank you for your input and the 'Excellent'! Have a lovely weekend. ~ Regards // paul

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 3/11/2016 10:30:00 PM

VERY good one. I love you did it modern.

Paul Callus
Date: 3/12/2016 8:58:00 AM

Thank you, Andrea. There was no way it would have flowed smoothly using the traditional method. ~ Regards // paul

Caycay Jennings

Date: 3/11/2016 7:53:00 PM

YOU CAPTURED real life right here, Paul. It is a sad truth and even the best relationships have nights like this occasionally, but Lord help the many who sleep this way each night. Sad, powerful and truthful - you nailed it ... CayCay

Paul Callus
Date: 3/12/2016 8:34:00 AM

Your insightful comments are very much to the point, CayCay. Countless reasons/problems contribute to such sad cases; sometimes no remedy is available. ~ Thank you for a lovely visit. Regards // paul

Bl Devnath

Date: 3/11/2016 6:16:00 PM

Wow! in between back to back facing the wall and they are at miles apart. Sometimes life faces such wall due difference of thoughts. Excellent poem penned with few words, a great book like of sad life. 7+ sure my lovely friend. Loved always, bl

Paul Callus
Date: 3/12/2016 8:26:00 AM

Thank you for the nice feedback, BL...and also for the high rating:) All the best, my friend. // paul

Casarah Nance

Date: 3/11/2016 5:16:00 PM

Ah but they sleep to dream of a time when love trumped reality, it only takes a little roll to steal back the covers. This was good Paul. Hugs xx

Paul Callus
Date: 3/12/2016 8:03:00 AM

You look at this situation with positivity, Casarah:) Unfortunately, for some that 'little roll' never happens! Thank you for a delightful visit:) ~ Warm regards // paul

Laura Breidenthal

Date: 3/11/2016 4:39:00 PM

Very interesting... short like the bed, but certainly gets the point across with a powerful last line. Great tanka. Always, Laura

Paul Callus
Date: 3/12/2016 7:27:00 AM

Thank you, Laura. Your comments are always meaningful and straight to the point. ~ Regards // paul

Tim Smith

Date: 3/11/2016 3:24:00 PM

So close but so far away. Sadly it happiness all to often...lovely Tanka Paul

Paul Callus
Date: 3/12/2016 7:21:00 AM

"So close but so far away"...you summed it up nicely, Tim! Thank you! ~ Regards // paul

Jan Allison

Date: 3/11/2016 1:36:00 PM

It's a sad reality and so many couples stay together for the sake of the children fabulous but sad tanka Paul:-) hugs Jan xx

Paul Callus
Date: 3/11/2016 2:24:00 PM

Thank you, Jan. What you say is very true, but so is life! ~ guess what....it rained today! hugs // paul

Red Fiery

Date: 3/11/2016 10:19:00 AM

Very very sad... Distance is jjust a physical entity... Some people are very close to your heart even if they live far far away from you ... But some ..... You have already mentioned in your poem... That's a tragedy... I am so happy that I am the first person to post my comment... Wow ! Stupendous write , Paul

Paul Callus
Date: 3/11/2016 12:02:00 PM

You got it right all the way, Red; your insightful comments explain it so clearly...and your final reaction is greatly appreciated:) Thank you...you win the prize for being first over the line:)) ~ Regards // paul