Inferiority Is Complex

She had a masters degree, from Trinity Cambridge, was brokering deals in the city, with overheard talk re. financial leverage. Whilst I’d a diploma from a, “technical” college. A photographic memory, from heart she could recite, the Shakespeare plays and the complete periodic table, and her port and whisky bottles had their own silver labels. A no mortgage flat, Persian cat and a cleaner, a holiday retreat on some remote Welsh peninsula. but despite, the disparity in background and mental capacity, we clicked and hooked up and for a while, lived, quite lustfullly. To survive, comfortably, in her social circles, I needed to eliminate some of the hurdles. The barriers that doubtless would have stifled, my chance of becoming, economically entitled. A list was produced, and included employment and personal grooming, but my care free attitude, Is what attracted her, I imagined, what she found appealing. But lust is short term and knowing, knowledge is power I began reading her own books and with time on my hands spent hour upon hour. I read 1984, so not to be a bore, at her parties. I read to Kill a Mockingbird, so I would be heard, at her parties. I read The Great Gatsby, because I had to be, at her parties. I read Death of a Salesman, to be life and soul, at her parties. I read Great Expectations, to get me out of situations, at her parties. I read The Grapes of Wrath, so they wouldn’t laugh, at her parties. I read Pride and Prejudice, to stop them extracting the piss, at her parties. I read Catcher in the Rye, so I could look people in the eye, at her parties. I read The adventures of Huckleberry Finn, just to fit in, at her parties. I read book after book, but no one gave a flying f*** , about me, at her parties. Ironically after reading Gullivers travels, almost as I closed the cover, she told me to pack my bags. It was all over. I went up North, got a job, on a three month trial, as a trainee librarian, at a private school, near Carlisle. The acceptance photograph displaying the Chancellor’s handshake, new wife,village life and my f*** you smile, and a perfectly groomed new hair style.