In Your Attic

*To the tune of "Hallelujah" by Leonard Cohen I've heard there is a secret floor That's locked behind your attic door. But you don't really want to show me, do you? You keep her there, A ghost, a fiend - An angry beast that taunts unseen. The crazy wife who wants to burn your house down. You have Bertha in your attic You have Bertha in your attic My love was strong, so I needed proof That she was jailed beneath your roof. She showed up in the moonlight to betray you. She lit the flames, she left you there To choke on smoke and fight the flare. The crazy wife who tried to burn your house down. You have Bertha in your attic You have Bertha in your attic Edward, I've been hurt before. I've been condemned, I've been ignored. I used to feel alone before I knew you. I've seen her face through the attic door. I've heard her wails through the attic floor. The crazy wife who tried to burn your house down. You have Bertha in your attic You have Bertha in your attic There was a time when you let me know The truth about your scheming show. But now you wish you'd never told me, don't you? And remember when she stalked my room Searching for her cheating groom? The crazy wife who tried to burn your house down. You have Bertha in your attic You have Bertha in your attic You have Bertha in your attic You have Bertha in your attic *Based (lovingly and jokingly) on the story of "Jane Eyre" by Charlotte Brontë