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In That Lifeless Town

My footsteps once in motion, were quicker that a train moving on shiny, steel tracks: there I whistled my refrain. I moved to a lifeless town, where nothing ever happened; people walking in a slower pace, my excitement tapered. Noise kept me alive in a thriving suburb never sleeping; cars honking, kids screaming, hot dogs trucks steaming. There up a treeless hill, my Honda struggled to reach its destination; many evenings coming home late, dim lampposts caused trepidation. Glad to have returned and live life as it is meant to be lived wearing a cowboy hat; I sip my hot cappuccino in the small cafe' with friendly neighbors who love to chat. If I ever went back to that lifeless town, deep depression would rise high; silence will be more profound than a windless, dark forest...oh, I will cry!

Copyright © | Year Posted 2011




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Date: 3/17/2011 10:44:00 PM
Andrew, I really like this one but I am a bit confused because to me you seem to like a slower paced town. so are you comparing one small town with another one that are just quite different? I love some of these really descriptive lines running thru the poem. The treeless hill, the windless dark forest. Very atmospheric!
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Date: 3/13/2011 4:06:00 AM
good one and I think I live in that town now lol ! love,Deb
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Date: 3/12/2011 11:43:00 PM
Interesting set of couplets, Andrew. In the second line of the first couplet, "wistled" should be "whistled". Just a suggestion: I see that your second couplet is the only one that does not rhyme. How about replacing "my excitement turned sad" with "my excitement had dampened"? It's your work. I'll let you decide.
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