In Church

First I didn't want to go I was hurting so much to see myself in that holy building But I went, I had too This was my one day commitment in a week to be in the house of Lord with the family of Christ I sat in church, in the back as I always do Filled with so much anger My heart aching so much I couldn't understand why.. I was resisting the urge to be on my phone and type some angry words I decided to be optimistic so I wrote the words below From the little teaching I heard from the pastor: God's handwriting God help me Grow reproduce introduce learn appreciate accept Be wise And I felt better for a minute but my mind went back to the issue... I wanted to scream My eyes were welling up Luckly my glasses are dark The congregation laughed to the jokes, the pastor continued teaching This feeling. .. Took me back few years ago as I sat in my college poetry club I had poetry that I thought was really good But the other eight people or so on the table Always thought otherwise I read their poems, like they did mine and told my honest take on them Like they did mine, but they couldn't understand it My poetry language was so different from theirs my metaphors, my symbolism, my themes never made sense To them I couldn't understand why... Am I that different even in poetry? So I stopped attending that club because i felt like it always brought me down I wasn't growing And I stopped writing poetry all together The only thing that gave me voice since my teenage years But now I get it, I write for me And maybe the few that may understand me