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Impossible Love

Lap of fancy fills with flowers, Just to think of her tonight, This is not an idle talk, I'm in good humor tonight. I would not reveal my secrets, To enchanting eyes of hers, But she took away my power, I could not resist tonight. Beauty's garden I'm traversing, Half-inclined to soar up high, Heaven don't throw at the wings Of my joy your rocks tonight. I have no pre-occupation But her deep mysterious eyes, I am stealing black collyrium From the eyes of deer tonight. The heart's mirror takes its luster From her splendor, may be somehow Supplicant, it rubbed its face On the feet of Love tonight. My good thoughts are a reflection From the scripture of her face, In the vault of chance and fate, I see evil shunned tonight. Keeping far from grape's daughter, And with good luck being in bed, The first option I forbid me, Second one my right tonight. Reason, you think only of one thing, The impossible, so leave me, Don't you talk to me this once, Of forbidden love tonight! Qasem Ghazanfar, Translated from the Persian by the author

Copyright © | Year Posted 2016




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Date: 8/21/2017 1:27:00 PM
Hi, I have no doubt that Persian version is Ghazal, but when you translate it to English, it loses certain rules of Ghazal. 1) every two lines should be one Mesa (one line) 2) tonight is your refrain (repeating unit) not the rhyme. "Her and Humor" should be rhyme. Instead of resist and love you should use words like "confer, defer or words like those with "er" at the end"... otherwise is beautiful
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