Eileen Manassian | + Follow Poet |
Rhyme | + Fav Poem | Comment | Email | Print |

I'M Tired

I’m tired…….
	Tired of smiling when I’m dying inside
		Tired of looking for a safe place to hide
			Tired of loving when I am turned away
				Tired of trying to find right words to say

I’m so tired….
	Tired of always trying so hard to please
		Tired of daily feeling ill at ease
			Tired of feeling that I’m so small
				Tired of just waiting for you to call

I’m so very tired...
	Tired of pretending to be alright
		Tired of crying after one more fight
			Tired of seeing unfulfilled desire
				Tired of failures that put out the fire

I’m so very extremely tired…
	Tired of trying hard to measure up
		Tired of drinking this bitter cup
			Tired of wishing beauty to be mine
				Tired of hoping it will all be fine

God, you know I’m tired…
	Tired of wounding You time after time
		Tired of waiting for heaven sublime
			Tired of longing for perfection in me
				Tired of waiting from guilt to be free

I’m tired…
	Maybe you’ll understand the reasons why
		I want you to know, I really did try
			But I’m shriveled up and empty inside
				There is no place left this raw hurt to hide

I’m tired; I have no strength left to stand
	Guess I’m just too proud to reach for your hand
		I wish I could make you really “see” me
			And not this monster that I’ve come to be

I’m tired; I’ve no charm to make love last
	No magic to erase the sordid past
		I’ve learned that life is cruel, mean and unkind
			Happiness was not for me to find.

I’m tired; I can bring this to an end 
	You know it is too hard this heart to mend
		You know I’m much too tired to try to live
			My last breathe of life is all I can give….

I’m TIRED!

Please Login to post a comment

Kim Van Breda Date: 7/15/2013 9:24:00 AM Phew Eileen.. such a relief to read your encouraging words on my post. After reading this I can understand that you have a real insight into a Bipolar world-- what a sad and touching poem this is. As you so rightly say... our children hold us back.. in the end... from stepping off that cliff. I too have bad days-- a mood disorder is NOT a fun way to live. But.. "There by the Grace of God go you and I" You too are beautiful-- inside and out. Login to Reply

Jon A Cavanaugh Date: 12/10/2012 9:41:00 PM I too love your arrangement. I'm glad you responded to Ilene's post because your poem was very intense. But, I see that you are a very resilient woman with a strong faith in God. So you are in good hands. Wishing you the very best. Login to Reply Eileen Manassian Date: 12/10/2012 11:14:00 PM Thanks, Jon. You are very kind. I can't deny that I'm a very sensitive person and prone to take disappointments and rejection hard. However, I have much to live for. Just this morning my husband and I were recounting all the blessings we have. :) One day at time....hugs!

Ilene Bauer Date: 12/10/2012 6:57:00 PM i love the way you've arranged this poem - it's so creative and it works so well. i hope you're not really feeling as down as your words reflect because i look forward to reading more of your work! Login to Reply Eileen Manassian Date: 12/10/2012 7:24:00 PM Ilene, this was written a long long time ago when I was really fed up with life and disappointments. I still struggle with my issues, but I'm on the other side one! :) God is good. Thank you for your lovely caring note!

Poet Destroyer A Date: 12/10/2012 3:24:00 PM Eileen, your poem is beautiful and deep... the power.. behind your poem is mesmerizing... pd Login to Reply Eileen Manassian Date: 12/10/2012 7:23:00 PM PD....thank you! Unfortunately...I've come very close to that edge. Someone must have been praying for me to see it through and survive. Thanks for the kind note! Hugs!