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Best Suicide Poems

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Details | Suicide Poem | |

bloody wrists

I'm sitting on the floor
I'm crying so much more
trying to erase this pain
trying to forget your face
sitting here with the blade in my hand
running so slow blood dripping down
in a deep red color
flowing freely the way i want to feel

I'm sitting on the floor 
holding my hand out
I'm holding a bottle
a bottle filled with pills
I'm crying so hard
the pain is unbearable
I'm feeling so weak 

I'm sitting here on this floor 
holding a blade
crying like crazy
trying to take this pain away
I'm trying my best trying to fight
my eyelids feel heavy
my door is so far
the whispered yells to far
falling deep in to sleep

deep..deep..deep..deep
I'm laying on a bed
I'm so confused 
where am i?
my throat feels sore
my body screams in pain
I'm looking around
I'm in a small white room

i try to move,
my hands are stuck
i try to get up
i feel restraints 
what happened to me?

I'm laying on a bed
trying to get up
my head hurts
a nurse is here
a shot is administered 
i drift to sleep
I'm in the psych ward
why am i here?

I'm lying on a bed
laying so still 
my wrists hurts to no end
I'm crying out loud
screaming and cussing
my body hurts
i can't remember

all i remember are my bloody wrists
and a bottle of pills
all i remember is the pain i was in.....





Details | Suicide Poem | |

Her Masterpiece Is Her Story

Her paintbrush is a razor,
Her canvas, her wrists,
"I deserve the pain."
She shrugs and insists.

One day the brush will push down,
And it will cut so deep,
That this girl will fall
into an eternal sleep.

She doesn't remember how she started
What brought her interest to this,
How do you discover,
that cutting is your form of bliss?

No one would have guessed that she does it.
No one would have considered this one.
This girl is forever fighting a battle,
that she thinks the demons have won.

Her artwork is all over her,
Her beauty is on her thighs,
and if you look in her old trash,
you'll find her letters of goodbye.

Her masterpiece is quite disturbing,
Her masterpiece is a little gory,
Her artwork is her escape.
Let me tell you her story.

She compares herself to every person,
She is compared to each girl.
She thinks she's hideous,
And there's this boy that is her world.

She was bullied and picked on,
She was teased from head to toe,
Hard to believe that her best friend,
was her one and only foe.

Then later she disliked every little thing,
Her body, face and even her mind,
Soon she saw she was a failure,
and it was just in due time...

That this girl couldn't take it anymore
She'd decided she was done living this,
So one day she went home
and decided to end it.

Everyday for multiple days,
This girl would try to drown,
Hard to believe this girl at school,
never ever wore a frown.

Sometimes she'd just fall asleep crying,
Praying that she'd be enough,
Because she didn't want to leave her family.
She knew about their sweet love.

This girl found hope in small things eventually,
She soon would see this beautiful light,
and find a REAL best friend,
that helped her put up a fight.

Her masterpiece soon was leaving,
Her artwork was almost faded,
and it gave her a sick feeling,
the feeling of being jaded.

She found a boy that actually loved her,
And showed her love exists,
And this boy too had a masterpiece,
placed close to his wrists.

He related to her and she related to him.
She kissed his artwork and said he's not alone,
When she cut herself it hurt him,
Her masterpiece now wasn't just her own.

Her masterpiece effected others,
Her artwork wasn't just for herself,
She now had people, 
who saw her cries for help.

And then her family found out,
So then they saw the art too,
to them they were just scars,
To her they were the truth.

She's trying to be okay now,
She thinks she might survive,
Even though they didn't think
to take away the knives.


Details | Suicide Poem | |

Forgotten By Tomorrow

She stands at the edge of the precipice,
looking down towards her future.
The last tears that she will ever cry,
falling from her eyes, 
then falling into oblivion.
She watches them drop 
as they disappear forever.
Yet, she laughs in the face of death.
Would it really matter if she took the leap?
She has been forgotten by tomorrow.

The wind blowing at her back,
pushes her to the edge.
Almost agreeing with her final decision,
and encouraging her to jump.

A thousand thoughts and memories
racing through her mind.

Her first day of school.
Her tenth birthday party.
The lonely, awkward days of her teenage years.
The day she discovered poetry.
The moment she first saw him.
The day she thought that she was worth something.
The day when all of that became a lie.

Every memory 
that never made the pages of a history book.
She has been forgotten by tomorrow.

She exists to no one but herself.
In the blink of an eye, she decides her fate.
Her feet leave the ground,
and yet, she did not fall.
Out of nowhere he appeared,
and carefully grabbed her hand.
Pulling her back to reality,
saving her from the brink of disaster.
He held her, as her tears stained his jacket.
Old tears of sadness,
mixed with new tears of happiness.

She was remembered by yesterday.
Before she was forgotten by tomorrow.

Details | Suicide Poem | |

THE LANGUAGE OF ASH


Anarchy and misery whispered so softly that only she could hear
their voices, so she threw crabapples at a mail man to draw attention, 
ran feral between cars, remapped streets that never gave adequate 

directions or a single landmark to show her the way home. Mother 
loved the shell her baby bird had long ago broken, a mourning dove 
cooing for soft pieces, each scattered peep. Breath, the only thing 

that was hers, truly. Oh, the relief to snatch a bored sigh, draw it back, 
deny escape. A-gore-rhythms and Form-you-la’s, school’s strangle hold
methodology of mind control. Skip to my Lou. Skip class. Skip through 

rush hour traffic. Still, no one understands. No one speaks the language 
of Ash. Purge-atory is no fantasy. Every day, the same losses: possibility, 
sensitivity, civility. Hey guards, listen to all the things she will never say. 

Words, what the hell are they but manufactured strings of disappointment
that she chokes on? The entire world babbles platitudes and lawyers’ lies 
and vulgar chastisements.  Why speak, why waste a single breath? 

They fling their crap, so she returns the favor, knowing they will not 
translate her message. They use verbs like pepper spray and cavity search
and solitary confinement. She is nineteen, but the numbers don’t add up,

redo the equation. Just don’t ask questions or try to hurt yourself. Just? 
Again, she feels the noose close her throat, smiles at her secret antidote, 
the open doors of unconsciousness. A caress, this burn against the neck, 

again and again, saved and saved and saved, as though they’d noticed 
the flame’s gone, as though someone cared that she’d become soot, ash, 
ashes. Ashley? Ashley to ashes to ash to dust, just dust. Just? 
 
Just. Death. 






About this Poem

Ashley Smith was a troubled teen who would run into traffic, scream at people, cut classes.At 15 year, she was incarcerated for throwing crabapples at a mail man, this led to behavior which kept her in prison.  She defied the system, threw feces at guards, refused to comply and strangled herself many times a day. Ashley was restrained in a chair for as long as 8 hours, forced to sleep on mattress-less bed frame, pepper sprayed, tazered and kept mostly in segregation. She would bang her head against the floor until she bled, told a phychologist she felt suicide was her only hope. She was moved 17 times between 8 facilities in only 9 months. On October 17, 2007, Ashley, aged 19, hung herself in her cell as guards merely watched, having been ordered to only intervene once she STOPPED breathing. Her death was filmed. There is currently an inquest into Ashley’s treatment and suicide. For more information-

http://www.montrealgazette.com/news/national/Ashley+Smith+death+only/8053824/story.html


May change come. 

May change come, now.


Details | Suicide Poem | |

The cutter



She went to sleep
closing her eyes
beginning to dream
of broken butterflies
tearing her lovely monarch wings
on faithless love that angels sings...

She finds shiny metal in kitchen sink
in an evening absent light
she finds peace in cuts of pink
watching crimson blood flow feels so right..

Starlight shines upon her tears
I whisper darling, you cannot bleed
all of your suicidal fears
at night when you begin to cry
I'll sing you a lover's lullaby..

My love do not wish that you were dead
dreaming of an absent pulse
laying on silken sheets bleeding red
I will offer love so do not bleed
give me your knife I am all you need...
~ ~ ~ ~

Details | Suicide Poem | |

The Real Me

I'm not the person you think you see
'Cause I've got demons inside of me
I may have a smile on my lips
But I have cuts on my wrists and hips
You see I'm damaged, fractured, and broke
I'm surprised I still have hope
No one loves a broken girl
Especially not in this big bad world,
I'm too far gone and you can't save me now
So I will just keep falling down, down, down
Into the depths of my own demise
But it's nothing new, not a surprise,
These demons here hate me so
Sometimes I think I should just go
'Cause I welcome death with open arms
Death looks nice, it has so much charm,
Nobody here loves me anymore
And life is such a dastardly chore
They want me gone, I can tell so much
And someone told me to never trust
So now I know everyone lies
This is what many people need to realize,
But people will always trust
'Til that trust turns to dust
And take a shot in the dark
Until they are torn apart,
And now maybe you see 
Why I have demons haunting me
But if you do not
Then you don't know the battles I've fought
And don't judge me at all
Because I will just continue to fall

Details | Suicide Poem | |

R-I-P -----ROBIN WILLIAMS




Spin off Happy Days Na-Nu Na-Nu Shaz-Bot man Planet Ork Mork fly!
© PoeTTreeZ Publishing

Details | Suicide Poem | |

OK

There's no light in my eyes
faded for so long, i cannot see the hope
that was once there long ago.
as these tears fall, all i can do
is look around, i cannot
hear the sounds of your voice
coming through.

But i'll be OK
please don't try to follow me
it's not safe to go alone
there are things you shouldn't see.
i'll be OK
i know you must hate me
just give it some time
someday you will be fine
just know that i'm all right.

my soul grows cold like this tomb stone
the darkness always falls, pitch black
now i am all alone.
and as i fade, i guess i'll cease to be
nothing left inside i have died
so you could breathe.

But i'll be OK
please don't try to follow me
it's not safe to go alone
there are things you shouldn't see.
i'll be OK
i know you must hate me
just give it some time
someday you will be fine
just know that i'm all right.

in my dying breathe
the air rushing from my chest
i guess there's nothing left, no parting
shots no more time for arguments.
looks in your eyes, i know you'll
leave me now. our time has just
run out. our time is over now!

But i'll be OK
please don't try to follow me
it's not safe to go alone
there are things you shouldn't see.
i'll be OK
i know you must hate me
just give it some time
someday you will be fine
just know that i'm all right.
just know that i'm all right....

Details | Suicide Poem | |

Don't ask me to apologize

Don't ask me to apologize for being the monster inside
I refuse to set any agony i have aside
Don't ask me to torch out the fuse i have growing
There is so much torment behind this face without anyone knowing
Don't ask me to unmask this demon i enshrine deep in the dark
It fuels my spirit, whats left of me creating a tiny spark
Don't ask me to let go of the past
All the exploitation has been passed
Don't ask me to neglect the flashbacks you put into my head
So many wounds on my arms from the times you made me bled
Don't ask me to excuse all the sin you created
Cause my heart is buried distant enough it has to be gated
Don't ask me to uncoil and live a little
For how many times you beat me till my bones became brittle
Don't ask me to not dread all of this
I'd have to count the times of deaths i'd nearly miss
You've made me the monster
now don't ask me to apologize

Details | Suicide Poem | |

On My Own Terms

Mama became sick when I was in sixth grade,
It was really hard to cope with sacrifices we made.
Kids were cruel and did not understand the reality,
Of a trying pathway now set out before Daddy and me.
I was picked on and laughed at, hair pulled, I was teased.
I let them laugh to my face, shoved down on broken knees.
Until the day I rose to fight, facing my bullies I fought tough.
I would never give in to bullies again, I became jagged and rough.

My spirit fought hard. Tears, love, experience, learns and yearns,
I'm living my life on my own terms!

Boys tried to take me on, take me out, and have me surrender.
I never let one kiss and tell, My purity would never dive under.
I met my prince charming for whom I had waited for a ring.
Years and years of waiting peacefully for love, joy it did bring.
While all my girlfriends partied hard, their lives fell off the spotlight.
I sat in the shadows quietly waiting, I shined when the time was right.
The first kiss was heaven, and every taste was even sweeter than before.
Two rings, three kids, a family, how could I have asked for more.

My spirit fought hard. Tears, love, experience, learns and yearns,
I'm loving my life on my own terms.

I started feeling something, deep inside my body, it grew,
I went to the doctors to confirm what I already knew.
Mama suffered so many years, I was too young but it came.
When I got the news of my sickness, nothing would be the same.
Children grown and married, husbands fingers worn to the bone.
No one should see me suffer, I put a payment on the headstone.
Softly I said my goodbyes, no one could stop me from my choice.
I wanted to say I love you, while I still had a strong, firm voice.

My spirit fought hard. Tears, love, experience, learns and yearns.
I'm leaving my life on my own terms.



08-17-2014
*fictional story, I have no feelings on the if suicide is okay speech, this story is just a character, it is what is it is.

Details | Suicide Poem | |

Depression Kills

Many people have no clue 
Of the hell I go through
If they only knew
The pain and agony, too

Why do I say depression kills, age 14,
Twenty times I have tried with pills
Wished I was dead at times still

My brother was depressed, too
Going to counseling he needed to do
Guilt I feel because I knew
Should of been the one to help, too

Thirty-two years it tortured my mind 
Peace I can never mind
It sometimes puts me in a bind
Can't relax and unwind

Many times the teardrops fall
Get angry and wanna hit the wall

The pain within, no longer can bear
Living with depression isn't fair
At my heart, it really tears

Unless you have depression,
Please don't say you understand, too
Because you really have no clue


8/21/14


Details | Suicide Poem | |

A Grim Fairy Tale

I was born a girl
whose parent’s died.
Then given to others
whose social status was high.
Papa, the king, but died in war.
Mama, the queen, who didn’t marry more.
An eternal scowl upon her face
as she kept her daily pace.
Hair pinned high upon her head.
“Do this!” “Do that!” She constantly said
and when I’d do one thing wrong
she’d scold me, yelling “Cinderella!”, for hours long.
And once she was done with what she said
I’d get back to work again.
But one day I got fed up.
Ran up my tower and closed the door up.
My window, the only way out
but Mama barged in, stopping in mid-shout.
But I just turned back and smiled
and then I fell a thousand miles.
And I lay among the trees
my spirit, at last, forever free.

Details | Suicide Poem | |

Dont Die

Smile! but i want to die. but how can i take my life 
when god sacrificed his life and we shall have life and have 
it more abundantly .. LIFE .
that simple word that you can change, it all depends how you live.
you know, life has many challenges that you face, but its up to you to embrace 
that love from above! his gentleness is like a dove, everlasting is his name, and 
you take life as a game? 
YEAH, you can always choose how you want to play, but TODAY, 
you will change that thought of suicide, and push those tears aside, and 
remember, god is ON your side! his not like chris, john, bob, billy, or even  
Lucifer ! yeah LUCIFER .. 
does that name ring a bell ? not being a pastor but i decree and declare that we 
SHALL, not want to die, but stay alive! .. i dont care what the circumstance is, i 
know who GOD is, and i WILL let him live in ME ! 

                                  Al'dayja Selby (A.T.S)  

Details | Suicide Poem | |

Struggle

I don't want to die,
But my mind feels old;
My body is so tired
And my heart grows cold;
Hands itch to slice--
Just the skin--just the skin,
Blood flows out as the pain seeps in.
They wanna give me pills
To treat a pain they haven't seen;
They try to cure the symptoms
Without knowing what it means,
To pick apart my brain
Without dirtying their hands,
While I drown in a sorrow
That I can't understand,
While unhelpful friends throw
Such unhelpful advice:
"Stop feeling sad!"
"Think of things that are nice!"
Meanwhile I wish
for an end to the pain. 
I don't need any pills--
Just send me a train.

Details | Suicide Poem | |

Suicide Prevention

Suicide prevention
just takes an ounce
of affection
Remembering we are
all humans and in
need

Smile at a stranger,
Don't lash out in
anger,
Forgiveness is
refreshing
In a world where
souls are meshing.

Talk to the world
And the world talks
back
Conversations hold
healing
Helping and hoping
There is so much to
be learned
Some may look strong
But its their way of
coping
Come clean and be
clever
Be a friend to
someone new
Smile at a stranger
And they might smile
right back at you.

It doesn't take much
to listen, respect,
applause,
comment, read, and
know
that a person is
there in that soul
and 
you have the power
to make that
person happy.
 If it is for a
split second, an
hour, a day, 
you never know how
much that would
mean, 
and why not give it
a try, 
what is being nice
gonna hurt, 
it might just be
what is needed to
keep someone 
from entering the
darkened road. 

Smile at a stranger.

A stranger may smile
at you.

:) you are loved 
always remember that
:)

Details | Suicide Poem | |

My monster

among you and I and among us all
remains a feeling of shallow intoxication
that seems to play on and on and on in our respective heads
as everyone important to us has gone on to some beautiful destiny
I sit here amongst the caucasion sleeves of paper on the floor of my chamber
the numbness of the so called "art" on the radio
mommy, I have done it

as the winter approaches, we batten down ourselves for the impending darkness
snow ensconces the dull tundra of all the acres
understandably blundered by the wings of burden and shame
I toil with the literature of my past and the science of my future
I thought I found you at least a dozen times, but you weren't you
daddy, throw another log on the fire

is there mercy in this chaos and this uncertainty? 
will I ever retain escape velocity and leave this earth?
I must leave this place and find sanctity elsewhere
no doctor revive me, no professional conversationalists, please.
mommy, daddy, take me home. 

the shoreline thunders, with the red clay -- imitating dover
I stare down at the mercurial wash of the crushing tides
special sequins rain down into the fundy sea below
I shall wake the wight inside of me
and destroy the pain inside of thee. 

mommy, daddy -- rape the teeth from within my head
to paint a better picture of the son you thought you knew
brother, I miss you and your insolent charm. 

but little monster, I think I will stay for you. 


Details | Suicide Poem | |

Drops of Blood

Crimson rivulets, felled from a need for pain.
They forget to scream, and instead a sigh reigns.
The blade that strokes.
Each murderous thought it provokes.
An attempt to escape paled and failed.
The stains embalmed.
The blade now palmed, for the wrist it may dash.
If it may, more blood doth it dash
An idea that pain is relief, how rash.
This hurt so much, could they not ever remember to move on?
Yet to this they fall pawn.
Somehow to it they feel drawn.
Their thighs and wrists well clawn.
Now they are gone.
Out of the silence, a single sound is born.
The echoing drip of the dropping drops of stained blood.

Details | Suicide Poem | |

WHITE DEVIL

White Devil

Call it what you want!
I call it, his favorite season hunt...
Two hoofs imprinted near the riverfront.
Echoes calling my soul with a loud, ferocious grunt.

I smell it in the air, lost upon the white golden stair.
A deep frost dwelling all over his lair.
Tangled by the frozen grip of my hair.
A decision, I declare to give what he won't spare.

This man has no red suit..
Lurking in the white to recruit.
A midnight suicide clouding me with pollute.
I pause my tongue on mute, lost in a white castle chute.

Headed straight into a shivering blazing star path.
The land of snow covered like a bubble bath.
Breaking icicles like crystal glass, suck3d by the milky-way mass.
Multiplying bruises like a cascade, enjoying the aftermath. 

Finding a way to slit the pain in my domain.
I grab a coat and lace my name to Mary-Jane.
Inserting the finest line to ease the drain in my brain.
I drink the icy scotch, and drop a silver nickel into the devils cocaine.

Fallen in to his bait, its too late, I got 7 lines on my dinner plate.
I'm covered up in snow, enjoying the amazing way to suffocate.
Eight beats to every minute is my new heart rate.
I'm reaching for the white golden gate, where the white devil waits.

Drowning like liquor in a frappe mixing the winter's high tide.
Death to my soul is where I hide under this white blanket neutral side.
Too heavy to uplift this storm lost in the devil's cold custard suicide guide.
Waking up in a coma, in a world where white collides with the rage of suicide.

by;p.d.   
 (( Trapped in a snowy blizzard))

Details | Suicide Poem | |

On The Wings Of An Angel

Today is the day I have
chosen  to die,on the wings
of an ANGEL I will fly high

I feel I could have been 
better while I was here,
but on the wings of an
ANGEL,I will have no fear.

All my life I had to put up
a fight,but on the wings
of an ANGEL I will be alright.

Things may have been better
if id'e taken time to pray,now
I am on the wings of an ANGEL
and I am going to be ok.


                   Please LORD watch over my loved one's.

                        Colleen Marie Bono



Details | Suicide Poem | |

Where Were You

He looked at me with
begging eyes,

Hiding in his own world.

All knew his looks,
But none knew him.

No one realized
who he was.

Alone, desperate.

Then one day,
Everyone closed in on him

Their daggers pointing
At the only feeling he had:

Sorrow.

He let out a sob
One small sob that told them everything

They walked away.
But they never ceased to push and shove him

Dislocating his heart and putting sorrow to his words.

They never realized
What they were doing

Until it was too late.

He put a sword to his heart and said,
"I love you, mom and dad, but now it's time for me to go."

Stabbing his heart,
He cried.

He lay there, his cold and still body radiating sorrow

The others never glanced,
But I looked at him.

I carried him out,
Not understanding why others would do this.

When we held a funeral,
Some said he was kind and so I asked,

"Where were you when he needed you?"

Details | Suicide Poem | |

read this please

They hate you because your you
They make up lies and call it true
They're fake behind your back
Hoping someday that you'll crack.

They hate you because your real.
no matter what they say you always heal
They're surprised to see you rise,
That you're not affected by all these lies


They hate you because you smile at them
It shows them that your a real gem
You are always true and do your best :)
Sometimes these haters just cant test

They hate you for no reason
Despite it all, you smile
whatever the reason
At the end of the day
All i'm gonna say
All i plan to be 
IS ME


-Sanderline Fleury :)

Details | Suicide Poem | |

Dying Eyes

I have lost the will to change
Taking the path that leads to nowhere
The darkness is taking over
something i cannot repair 
If it is to be broken
Drowning in the sorrow
I cannot give in
Take the fall and run to the heavens
Im never going to bow
Im never going to break
I will not fall
I will not fade
I was made to take your breathe away
Whenever my hope is lost
Thats my chance to run for cover
Light the fuse and burn it up
I dont want to change the world
I just want to make it colder
Watching the end
With our dying eyes
Tell me where forever lies

Details | Suicide Poem | |

Forever Blue

I am forever blue,
Just like the sky,
All the rain that falls on you,
Is how I feel when I cry.

I am deep blue like the sea,
Barely breathing beneath the waves,
How lonely can one be?,
There's nothing left here to save.

This feeling is not once in a blue moon,
It lasts all day and night,
It's as deep as a blue lagoon,
With no end in sight.

The frosty air is so cold,
On this blue December night,
Here is what my future holds,
And I know it isn't right.

My whole life has been so blue,
With so many turns like a river,
The water is so cold now, too,
It makes me really shiver.

My future is so blue,
And this is my only end,
I want to tell you, I love you,
Because you're my only friend.

Details | Suicide Poem | |

Broken

I cut to see if I feel how it's like being human,
I cut to see the pain relinquish inside,
I cut for all the memories that remain to drain down in the sewage
What symbols life runs with death in that rusty pipe.

A slash here and a slash there,
What happened in the past?
A slash here and there,
Soon the memories don't last.

Scissors, knives, razors and sharp edges
keeps a bloody smile, no more weep.
Slice and dice, trim more than the hedges
And I don't care if I go to deep.

One scar closer to a never ending dream,
I don't care if I go to deep.

Details | Suicide Poem | |

My Hell

I fall down
deeper and deeper
into oblivion
nothing
only darkness.
the sounds of evil
dripping into my ears
slithering farther
and sliding down into me
filling me with echoes.
terror courses through
my veins
into each cell
turning them against
me
they are no longer mine
they follow another
a stronger being.
icy breezes come
they whisper to me
they say I'm bad
they call me to them
the breezes dance
hug me
covering me
hiding me from the light
shielding me from hope.
falling deeper
only down
my eyes are taunted
I see people
the ones I know
love
they are hurt
hurting
by me
I have betrayed them
left them
I am hurting them
it is me
but I can't stop.
my mind is plagued
sick
new thoughts
 every second
comes a new terror
a cruel joke
all a prank.
only deeper do I fall
light is disappearing
becoming dimmer
fading fast.
all a game
for one person
the puppeteer
the ringmaster
the man in the
mask
the one who is running the show
the show that is me.
he sees me falling
he laughs
I can't see him
but he is there
everywhere
teasing my brain
taunting my senses
he hates me
he wants to hurt me.
he throws it
the knife
I feel the pain
running up my leg
showing my bones
releasing my blood
it is blue
my blood is cold
it splatters my face
sprinkling my features
dotting them with blue
the blue liquid drips
jumping onto my tongue
I taste dirt
my blood is dirt
blue is all I see
blue is all I become
I am blue
blue is me.
a distant shout
who is it?
a cry for help
surely
the sound is mangled
twisted
young
desperate
hopeless
mine
the sound is mine
I shut my mouth
but I still hear it
chilling my blue blood
ringing in my ears
shaking my breathing
jump-starting my heart
then it's over
the scream has ceased
and silence returns
sounding more deadly than ever before.
still falling
only black do I see
the evil
the monsters' playground
the demons' joyride
and someone is hungry
it wants me
my innocence
my purity
it wants to take it
it feeds on people
people like me.
weightlessness
objects hitting me
ghosts' fingers prodding me
as I fall
I fall down
down into this never-ending hole
this abyss
for eternity
restless
empty
yet full
filled with misery
my worst fears
come back
how did he know?
he knows I'm afraid
the darkness
doesn't help me see
I can't see why
how does he do this?
they cut me again
spilling my blood
oh, the blue
I don't even feel it
I am numb
the sound of me
my skin
being sliced
a quick slashing
and they are done
I am cut
my legs
my arms
my stomach
my face
my neck
I can't see my blood
but I can see how evil it must look.
the thoughts that fell
fell down with me
they too
are damned
they talk to me
they tell me what they see
they can see
blue
yes blue
my cold blood
it is everywhere
I am pale
white
I look sick they say
oh, no
they say
oh, no
they see the bottom
be ready
they say
be ready.
I fall faster still
slowing for nothing
for no one
being pulled down
the puppeteer has me
he's got my string
and he's pulling
with no sign of letting go.
now I hear a song
they all sing it
the notes are cruel
unforgiving
they bump into the others
struggling to be heard
with no set order
it is musical chaos
he yells to me
it is beautiful
and he sings along to his song
it's made for me
musical notes are played
they come up to me
they greet me
they jump
right into my cuts
surging into my blood
they search inside me
no mercy
moving faster
the drum
keeping them steady
pounds faster
picking up tempo
searching
searching
until
they found it
they found
my heart
my soul
the music does the talking
it says to hush
hush now
slow down
my heart listens
and I get sleepy
just stop
they say
just stop
the music is evil
played by the man
the man in the mask
my brains sends
a message
one final request
it says to my heart
speed up
it says
speed up, can't you see?
she is dying
it says
you must speed up!
I still fall
with no way up
letting go of hope
why dream?
dreaming of being saved
when I already know
I'll only be dropped.
I smell
something burnt
burning
oh, no
I know what
that smell
it is flesh
not mine
surely
but belongs to someone else
someone close
they too
they smell of dirt
sinners burning
dead
they are nothing to me
they are the stench
in my nose
nothing more
the smell overcomes all
all the other senses
until it becomes me
and I burn too.
even in the dark
the black
I see something
darker
blacker than black
they are shadows
they mock me
they play
they sing
they dance
they laugh
I fill with evil
hatred
a longing to hurt
hurt the ones behind it all
then
without warning
I hear him
laughing
my pain
is his pleasure
oh so dark
it's over
I'm at the bottom
laying on the cold ground
in a small ball
too weak to stand
in a pool
of dark blue blood
I hold myself tight
I can't trust
these creatures
these beasts.
he likes my weakness
he tells me I am small
I am ugly
I am worthless
I am nothing
he laughs when I cry
I thought that
maybe
just maybe
it would be better
down here
instead of up there.
it's not.
hell is not a game.
death is not an
easy way out.
do not try to visit me.
do not try to rescue me.
for I am more lost
than I hope you will
ever be.
now that I am
at my fate
at the entrance to hell
at the bottom of this grave
of my eternity
and if I am truly
here forever,
I'll have plenty of time
to ask myself
why did I jump?