I'M Sorry If I Failed You
Is this the beginning or is this the end? My dear friend passed away and I no longer can pretend. The days are so long yet I try to be strong and I realize it’s been her all along. Our song still lingers as I count on my fingers how many times I knew I was wrong. I’ve begun to wonder if I exist for real or if I borrow and steal. I shall kneel every night in sadness without sight to the one woman who brought me to feel in my fright.
I’ve been lost and found and been around and all I see is your eyes staring at me. In the night, you are there and I miss how you care and I wish your death wasn’t so quick. It makes me so sick you couldn’t admit you had fought the same demons I faced. Now your mind is misplaced and the look on your face in the casket will always run through my bleeding veins.
And to think you were sad really makes me mad and I wish you would’ve told me in secret. I could’ve saved your life and promise forever… I’d keep it. My heart shall not start to feel the shame or place the blame on my soul. You’ve fallen apart, your heart shall not part and no longer will my essence be whole.
I needed you before, you needed me then. You pleaded, I knew not and heeded with my pen and you ended up alone in death. Repeated lessons are never life blessings and one more breath I wish you could take. I’d make you listen ‘til you were deaf and it’s never enough just to see your heart shine and glisten.
For now I know, that wherever I go you wished you could have followed. But my heart in a place that needed some space and now I’m left empty and hollow.
I’m sorry if I failed you.
I never meant to derail you.
I only meant to show love.
You rest peacefully above.
January 4, 2017
Copyright © Lu Loo | Year Posted 2017
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