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I'M Sick To the Core

I’m sick of this world Sick to the core And I can’t forgive Or pretend anymore I smile but I’m crying I am through being kind I hate people playing Around with my mind I know I’m naive I know I’m a fool But it’s hard to see How you can be cruel You just carry on Pretend I’m ok When all that I want Is to end this day I just want to hide I want to break free From all who torment And who torture me I’ve just had enough Enough of these tears Enough of this life Enough of these fears It’s just too damn hard To get it all right To deal with this hurt To sleep through the night My heart is broken This isn't a joke I guess it happened From all that you spoke You didn't say sorry You just walked away You think I’m a stone… Or some game to play I’m heaving with sobs I struggle, and cry Try to understand Your sick reason why Want to crawl in bed And lock myself in What you’ve done to me Is surely a sin I’m sick, I’m alone You’ve gouged out my heart Go and now and sleep tight While I fall apart. Eileen Manassian Ghali

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Guru Jad

Date: 5/8/2013 3:54:00 PM

As for me, I love you Just the Way you Are!

Eileen Manassian
Date: 5/9/2013 2:11:00 AM

Well...that is a LOAD off my shoulder! ;) You now the song, right? Thanks, my dear. You're very sweet and kind.

Guru Jad

Date: 5/8/2013 3:53:00 PM

Eileen.. I will not preach you about life since you are a church person.. I will shower you with compliments so they will not be taken as a compensation for my past folly.. All I can confess is that I can feel your utter truthfullness in every word and line.. and more than that, your grief is pouring right into my eyes and heart. And one more thing, you are not really alone.. if you looked carefully around, i am sure you will fail to count the people who adore you. ---

Eileen Manassian
Date: 5/9/2013 2:10:00 AM

Guru Jad....I am so happy to read this and know that you understand. I know you do. Going to church doesn't guarantee a life without pain. If the connection with God is faulty...then we suffer the most. I need to work on that. I know I'm not alone. I value and appreciate your friendship immensely. If that weren't the case, I wouldn't have said what I did! ;) Take care. Waiting to read another one from you.

Hgarvey Daniel Esquire

Date: 5/8/2013 10:43:00 AM

Eileen, I ran out of room so i'll send you 2 comments. Chef sending Kenny to 36 countries to learn the cuisines. I know when Harry writes Poetry it is true life things he has been through. Your poem is so much like that. You are very good at rhyming and writing what You feel.this is a great poem. Respectfully, Flipper

Eileen Manassian
Date: 5/8/2013 12:00:00 PM

WOW! Lucky Kenny! Thank you for your kind compliment! I appreciate it! :) Have a great day...Flipper? You know there was a program about a dolphin named Flipper, right? ;)

Hgarvey Daniel Esquire

Date: 5/8/2013 10:27:00 AM

Good Morning Eileen, I can feel the sadness in this.Is it true?I hope not you seem so undeserving of such pain. Chef has also taught us about poetry. I'm not his best student,that would be Kenny. He has 4 poems on POETRYSOUP. Chef is paying for his world tour learning the different cuisines aroud the world. Kenny is in France now and 2 years he goes to Italy.One of Chef's dreams was to become the 8th Black-hat chef in the world but Health stop him.Kenny said he wanted to so Chef is sending

Eileen Manassian
Date: 5/8/2013 11:59:00 AM

Hi! Your morning is my night! How are you? Yes...this was written when I was in a dark place, but I'm out of it for now! Going to enjoy the good times while they last. I don't know who Kenny is. If you give me a last name, I'll look him up.

Painted Hunter

Date: 5/8/2013 6:10:00 AM

So much pain here, Eileen. I'm afraid I'm not nearby but you can cry on my soup shoulder if you need to. So much great poetry comes from pain...and this is really good...Caleb

Eileen Manassian
Date: 5/8/2013 11:58:00 AM

Caleb...your never as far away as you think! I might need that strong shoulder sometime! I'll let you know! :)

Tim Ryerson

Date: 5/8/2013 4:11:00 AM

I weep for you, Eileen...You have expressed your pain in a very compelling and eloquent way...You are a beautifu lady, inside and out and you deserve much better...Blessings to you - Tim

Eileen Manassian
Date: 5/8/2013 11:57:00 AM

Tim....your post touched my heart. Thank you for the love and care! Bless your heart, Tim!

Hgarvey Daniel Esquire

Date: 5/8/2013 12:56:00 AM

Eileen, I'm not going to see Chef until 6PM to night Wed. I Know the Chef, if he's not talking about, food,food service or restaurants: he is talking about POETRYSOUP, and his SOUP Family. Out of respect for You I want to say I am trying to say Harry. I Know him as a Chef a Teacher a Philosopher You Know as a POET,so when I say Chef I mean Harry or what ever other names he uses; Liege,HG, Sharon Barre ( although I have not found any of his POEMS on ( POETRYSOUP .) Respectfully, Flipper

Eileen Manassian
Date: 5/8/2013 2:18:00 AM

Hi Flipper...sorry couldn't respond sooner...I was in class. I love Poetry Soup as well....lovely people here. So...Chef is a philosopher. Give him my love when you see him. Do take care of yourself and him. God bless.

Hgarvey Daniel Esquire

Date: 5/8/2013 12:50:00 AM

Hgarvey Daniel Esquire

Date: 5/7/2013 11:33:00 PM

Eileen, I gave You a 7 rating,this time Last time I left a "rating" I'm impressed with the Swiftness of time You have answered my answer to You. My name is Phillip Rollings I have known Chef since 2006. I am now the head chef at Resort in Maine I see we have the same look of RESPECT for Chef, You know him as HG,Harry or Liege or any combination I'm going to read this poem and comments and tomorrow I will do a real comment to YOU. Its a pleasure to meet YOU, Phillip (flipper) Rollings

Hgarvey Daniel Esquire

Date: 5/7/2013 8:26:00 PM

Eileen, Chef asked me to say Thank-YOU for the comment.He appreciates it. He will write YOU after he gets home.Respectfully Phillip

Eileen Manassian
Date: 5/7/2013 9:43:00 PM

Thanks, Philip. I've written a response on Harry's poem, but in case you check back here, please let him know that he is in my thoughts. I hope that he will be able to deal with this difficult time in his life by God's grace and help! Thank you for letting me know and please keep me posted.

Delysia Hendricks

Date: 5/7/2013 4:26:00 PM

For a while you had me worried there, Eileen. You're a very strong writer and manage to make your own dark feelings very real to the reader. Whew!! Nice one, my eloquent friend. :)

Eileen Manassian
Date: 5/7/2013 9:45:00 PM

Delysia, you are a dear sweet friend. Thank you for your post. I needed to vent, and I'm glad I could write out my hurt and frustration. I'm better now....somehow. I struggle with depression, so often...I just need to wait for the storm clouds to pass. Thanks for being a ray of sunlight! Hugs!!

Poet Tacito

Date: 5/7/2013 3:29:00 PM

Huge hug. That's all I've got.

Eileen Manassian
Date: 5/7/2013 9:45:00 PM

Drake, hugs are sometimes more powerful than words. I received your hug, and am grateful for it! :) Right back at ya!

Richard Lamoureux

Date: 5/7/2013 11:41:00 AM

I am glad you are currently not deling with this emotion. Thanks for the explanation. Hugs

Eileen Manassian
Date: 5/7/2013 9:42:00 PM

Richard, I am not currently crying over it, but I think my feelings towards this issue remain the same. :( I need to toughen up...I need to let go...I need to move on. t=Thanks for the hugs. I sure need them.

Anne-Lise Andresen

Date: 5/7/2013 5:00:00 AM

- Hi Eileen, a skillful poem ..... embrace the day .... it's yours! - The sun always shines on the nice girls. - oxox / / Anne-Lise :)

Eileen Manassian
Date: 5/7/2013 9:46:00 PM

:) The sun sometimes plays hide and seek with the nice girls too, Anne Lise! Thanks for lifting my spirit. Hugs your way! :)

Eileen Manassian

Date: 5/7/2013 12:59:00 AM

I owe you all an explanation. I know you all posted out of a genuine concern for me. You don't know how much that means. Yes, this came from my brokenness. I don't now how many tissues I had to get through just to get those feelings out. I was in a moment of pure self loathing for being too caring and needy. People may not mean to hurt, but for a sensitive soul...things are difficult to bear, especially when there is no acknowledgement of wrongdoing! Hubby is back, so that helps! :) Love you all!

Timothy Hicks

Date: 5/6/2013 11:45:00 PM

I echo Ilene's comment. It feels to authentic to be "made from thin air". I don't know what you're going through, but I'm here if you need me. A big contrast from your previous one... keep staying strong!

Eileen Manassian
Date: 5/7/2013 9:47:00 PM

Knowing you are there is a comfort, Timothy! Thanks for being a good friend.

Ilene Bauer

Date: 5/6/2013 5:32:00 PM

i'm really hoping that this is fiction, but it feels very real and so sad. it's very powerful and beautifully written, though. feel better...

Eileen Manassian
Date: 5/7/2013 9:48:00 PM

No fiction, my dear, but I'm better now. :) Thanks for the support.

Laura Breidenthal

Date: 5/6/2013 3:14:00 PM

What a write! This one speaks to me. . .really powerful words. I am impressed, great honesty. Always,' Laura

Eileen Manassian
Date: 5/7/2013 9:49:00 PM

Thanks, Laura. If we never expression the hurt and pain, we can't go through the process of healing, right? Glad you could connect with this. Hugs.

Richard D Seal

Date: 5/6/2013 2:31:00 PM

You seem to have hit a particularly rich seem of nuggets Eileen. This is sad but unfortunately a place many find themselves in. The mating game is rarely easy. A forceful write about one of humanities greatest faults. Take care, Richard

Eileen Manassian
Date: 5/7/2013 9:51:00 PM

Richard, I told you a downpour was on the way, didn't I? Better now...the storm has passed...temporarily. It always comes back, Richard. BTW...hubby isn't the culprit. He's been a good boy. Thanks for the post.

Jack Ellison

Date: 5/6/2013 8:49:00 AM

WOW Let is all hang out Eileen!!! Quite intense... it's only a poem... right? Hugs, Jack xoxox

Eileen Manassian
Date: 5/7/2013 9:54:00 PM

Nope, but don't worry, dear sweet Jack! I'm better now. Must be those XOXOXOX at the end of your post! ;)

Richard Lamoureux

Date: 5/6/2013 8:28:00 AM

This is quite a change from the previous poem. I hope you are writing about the past and that today is a wonderful day. If not I am sorry you are dealing wit this emotion.

Eileen Manassian
Date: 5/7/2013 9:54:00 PM

Richard, your empathy is very appreciated.

Connie Gildersleeve

Date: 5/6/2013 7:53:00 AM

Conveyed deep emotions of sadness and a broken spirit. Wishing you much courage and strength to rebuild wonderful dreams for your life. Never the end but new beginnings, always. Warm Smiles, Connie

Eileen Manassian
Date: 5/7/2013 9:55:00 PM

Connie, I'm so touched by your response. Bless you for reaching out to me!

Sara Kendrick

Date: 5/6/2013 7:40:00 AM

Sad love lost poem..I hope just a work and not life's experience now..Sara

Eileen Manassian
Date: 5/7/2013 9:56:00 PM

Sara, life throws us a lot of heartache, doesn't it? We know where we can go for help. If only we would follow through, much of that pain He'd ease for us. Thanks for the post. :)

Judy Konos

Date: 5/6/2013 6:20:00 AM

The entire time I was reading your poetry I thought of 'Adele' and her song, Someone Like You.... she found her happiness and true poetry or not...So Will You...thanks for posting....

Eileen Manassian
Date: 5/7/2013 9:58:00 PM

I have happiness, my dear.....I'm just just a silly girl who gets all bent out of shape when I feel rejected. ;) Not so easy. Love that song by Adele. :)

Russell Sivey

Date: 5/6/2013 5:51:00 AM

Wow, your write has such emotion within it, I was so immersed into it while I was reading it! You have enlightened me by the splendor of this amazing poem! It seems your feelings for the situation is extremely strong, and quite saddening! I hope things get better for you, and life throws you a good piece of life! This is such a grandiose poem, Great Work!!

Eileen Manassian
Date: 5/7/2013 9:59:00 PM

Russell, life is good. I need to appreciate the good in life and forget the bad. Thanks for this lovely post. You are very kind and considerate. :)