I'M Letting Go

Far beyond the edges of my reasoning a beautiful dream stood…waiting to come true A dream erected up from cold dusty earth to the searing proximity of the sun A star like dream, one built from hopes, aspirations and wishes One whose light is drawn in and out from other stars In its shadow lays the memory of soft spoken goodbyes and gentle kisses I have led my life on the side lines too afraid to repeat your mistakes See I learned the hard way what not to break The shattered pieces of her heart lay across the living room floor I have learned also then how to find my way across the battlefield of broken vows Because growing up when you’re being pushed back and forth between What you got and what you wanted makes you question The truths that are your foundation You start to see cracks in the, ‘I love you’s’ and ‘I miss you’s’ And notice the fractures between the, ‘You are my worlds” and the “I can’t live without you’s’ See this father is why my heart has no door even to let me in Because I live in the consequence of these lessons that you teach But father know that you are a dream among dreams A dream whose quarter is rooted in reality And whose walls I built an inch from fantasy You are a dream whose ends touch the circumference of the hole that you left Your razor blade edges cut the inside of my mind and shows up as scars in my personality But you kept my world and heart from falling apart Now you are gone… Where he used to be, God please put a new morning and the fragrance of cherry blossoms in Spring, let the sunshine in and with it reasons to smile, let me hear the laughter of my soul and give me PEACE Amazing, calming, PEACE where there was none. Amen