I'M Finding Myself

I'm finding myself Inside many sanguine moods Inside many inviting worlds All in anticipation Of love Not for anyone Or anything In particular Just looking deep within And deep beyond The surface matters That clog our anemic hearts That jail our vapid senses From welcoming epiphanies, Ecstasies and Electric declarations That await our famished souls From stoking incitements, Boisterous joys And elegant, mystical memories Burning to lash out Into indelible grins of Happiness and you-so-deserve-this Maybe it's this music Charged with classical tantrums And movie-like maudlin exclamations Maybe it's my past revving up With ghosts more handsome And meaningful than ever Or maybe it's my dreams After years of desperate confusion, Fractured esteem and salty embraces Finally granted permission To live in vividness To dance the hues The conniptions of color Drooling endlessly from the mouths of our precious ids and willing egos Summoning self, compassion and sacrifice To adrenalin's edge To flesh-removing, death-imbibing levels This is where love resides Here is where I visit Here is where I wish to stay. (7/2/12)