I'Ll Cry Tomorrow

Sitting dying alone, In this dark and dingy place It has now become my home.. The only open bar In town, I needed something to heal my broken heart I'm on my 8th round, Going on Nine now! Swaying on this broken bar stool As the bartender shouts his “last call”, As I'm looking down and this shuffled ground As I try a re step my footsteps home Walking them back In my head But I'm a stumbling mess My heart feels like shattering glass I'm slowly breaking, Sink-in, Drown-in in the dark-nest I'm Gasp-in, For breath, Each one Hard-er than the next! While the whole world around me are breathing Fine, I'm falling back into the abyss, Broken heart-ed This vodka has cut my skin so deep This broken glass with it's hard edges Digging, Silting into me Tho some of my pain was self inflicting My heart's beat, is barely beating That's why I'm drinking This gin Now swallowed, why cant I swallow my pride With Dignity, I'm openly seeking darkness I'm sorry farther “For I have sinned” Those sin's I've harbored Now my hollowed soul's giving In To that darkness.... My body trembling ,The outcome's looking bleak I've become so weak Shaking knees, I can barely stand up My eye's become teary They say its this alcohol that's depressing me But it's soon becoming my dependency I'm finding hard to leave it be, I'm hooked.... ...To a drip, Anything so I can get my fix It’s another chapter I've my book That''s needs to be ripped, Apart Because I'm hiding be-hide a mask My face is smiling but inside my heart is scared.. I'm writing this at night I'm tired... but my mind's racing fast while my eyes are wide shut I'm Trying to sleep..but my mind's Not giving up..whilst I'm lying on my friends sofa I'm unable to get up Morning rises but I'm slowly dying.. I'm hung over Pondering on my life and wondering what it would be like being sober How can I achieve anything in life When my only motivation is getting high And the other half of the time I'm crying inside Too depressed to write But I wipe my tears But I'm still here, On my bar stool from 9 to 5! The same broken record playing Saying “I'm going to quit” But I'm not facing My problems to begin with, I need a Fixative I'm not telling myself I got a problem to be able to fix it! Sitting here, Ripping the label off this toxic beer, bottle I can't look at look at this mirror and face him! Face it you hit rock bottom... I cant believe what I have become I wake up drunk Where will I end up? As I look along, A sedimentary I come a pone, A grave with my name above... As the bar door's are now closing My heart's ripped open Soaking In pure emotion Bartender “Give me two more shots” And ill mend my way's Not before a quick pit stop To get more drink from this shop Because I'm getting sick of these sad song's that play From the broken jukebox! Or this it me? And my pain that's eternal bleeding Thinking that every sad song is talking to me? I'm leaving.. Because I'm lonely I wonder if anyone get's me? The feeling of looking back hopelessly At the bottom of the vodka bottle Describing my feelings of feeling empty! I've been here before so it can't be rock bottom The only thing I adore Is my trusty red Pen that's my Savior It's a metaphor...it's my blood, That's in its ink When it hit's the paper It's that pain, I'm writing with! Because that inspiration's bleeds through my veins Just for me to scribble to words on this page Just so I can throw them away! Because I think anything I ever do Is not good enough for you.. Maybe I should do, More before I get taken away Maybe if that ambulance had been late I wouldn't been standing here today But I still cant make that change Because My vision, Impaired by the flashing lights Of that ambulance So If I die, today At least they couldn't say He was just an addict Who abused his talent... But I'm still here I tried To drown My Sorrow But I'm Drowning In tear's That I'll cry tomorrow!