If You Only Knew

when you lose sight of what really counts its easy to focus on only whats shallow am i too fat is my nose too big do i walk or talk weird whats wrong with me when we forget the depth that is here in this world and focus on things that are just absurd so maybe im not a supermodel and my bums a tad on the thick side and maybe im no a genius thats getting a scholorship on my side but does that mean im nothing that i dont count this world is getting sickening count me OUT im ashamed of myself for even thinking like this and obsessing to tears over shallow petty **** i am praying that god hears my pleas for help because i cant conquer this all by myself i used to not care didnt care at all but like any other i rise and fall i am of the opinion that your body is a shell and youll leave it behind when you go to heaven or hell it will rot in the ground and count for nothing and when i meet my maker he wont care how big my bum is some women ONLY care about their looks and they dont get it they dont see the big picture and i fear theyll regret it and other women dont care even at all about their looks because their depth is so massive and raw but then theres me in the middle with so much depth and spirituality why do i waste time wondering what are all the things wrong with me im sick of crying over it ive done it for too long im sick of getting angry when i cant crawl out of my bod its a thought that i had reguarding a cacoon like how catapielers go into them and out comes a butterfly zoom if i could just crawl out my mouth my soul free for just a moment and be allowed to have a different shell to live and own it i wonder what its like to feel just for a second not arrogance but a sweet compliment from someone who MEANT IT my desperate pleas go out to you and anyone else who will listen i hate my body im sick of my face and my voice is just ridiculous so lets just drop it in the ocean let it sail away cuz me im going to better places where i dont have to cry all day where i know that my body is just a little shell a vehicle if you will its our car or truck or limo or bus to use while we use our free will and ive always said when you go you don't take your money your lambergini or your watch expensive jewlery its all staying beind and you should think about what YOUR world is while im trying desperatley to fix mine