If Only

Yearning for the simple joys that were missed;  secluded by depression and anxiety.  Boundless pleasures eluding each grasp;  with growing concern of ridicule.     Singing out loud to a favorite song;  voice resonating inside the house.  Dancing to the rhythm of the pounding beat  as it vibrates the core of emotion.   The wind flutters around like butterfly kisses,  the heat from the sun caressing one cheek.  As he thoroughly sniffs every blade of grass  walking the dog is most enjoyable.   Judgmental glances behind the window;  probing each private thought.  The hidden reality will be exposed  by opening that sealed door.   If closely peering, it will be seen  the heartache and rage coursing within. The shame glowing like an aura  that is hard to miss.   Praying to God to find inner peace  from this loneliness that is unbearable,  sadness seeping from tired eyes  each morning that they open.   Silent words are spoken  through the eyes desolation shouts.