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If I Were Gone Tomorrow

Ice crystals form on a once dusty road Taillights shining brightly amongst the smoke The old tall oak bruised but still standing strong A pickled blackened heart no longer broke If I were gone tomorrow would she care Remembering that I was always there Standing by her side through thick and thin My everlasting love would never disappear That distant night she wouldn't believe My heart was pounding loudly for her Stabbing those stilettos deep into my heart Walking out, nevermore would my spirit stir No amount of liquor could mask the pain Finally, a dead heart will beat again **Inspired by Nathan D's Junkie Heaven poem and a few late night texts from a friend drinking at a bar**

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Suburban Lovechild

Date: 3/17/2015 10:52:00 PM

Quite the torrent of images...its diabolical sometimes to think how much impact, joy, damage etc that one person can have on another...great write...

Carolyn Devonshire

Date: 3/3/2015 5:58:00 PM

Those "stabbing stilletos" can crush your spirit as well as cut out your heart, Tim. I'm glad this was not written from personal experience, but you obviously empathize with those who have been left in the kind of pain that only an untrue love can cause. Excellent writing that captivates the reader's attention! Love, Carolyn (always a seven for you)

Nette Onclaud

Date: 3/2/2015 2:47:00 PM

how vulnerable can this be, tim; the memories in which are so often held onto..while life seeks a fresh start...just loved this piece... huggs

Tim Smith
Date: 3/2/2015 2:50:00 PM

Thanks nette...hugs Tim

Cherl Dunn

Date: 3/2/2015 2:10:00 PM

Dear Tim, Brightly imagery, and I agree with Ravi, very creative poem my friend, cheri

Ravi Sathasivam

Date: 3/2/2015 5:27:00 AM

Excellent. Very creative poem but sad. Tfs

Tim Smith
Date: 3/2/2015 1:21:00 PM

Thanks Ravi

Charmaine Chircop

Date: 3/2/2015 4:57:00 AM

This definitely describes loss,unreciprocated love and pain.Liquor isnot a solution but another problem ..but of course when one feels helplessly lone and sad,killing himself and who he is wouldnt hurt(he thinks).Sometimes we have to touch the bottom to need to reach for the top again,but friends can make adifference even by just giving a hug or by being there.He is lucky to have you as a friend.

Tim Smith
Date: 3/2/2015 1:21:00 PM

Thank you Charmaine for that beautiful compliment... I am trying to do the best I can...I just scheduled a couple events that I am taking him with me...so he has no excuses not to come with.... Big hugs Tim xx

Njeri Hunjeri

Date: 3/1/2015 9:34:00 PM

"Stabbing those stilettos deep into my heart" my fav line. #7

Tim Smith
Date: 3/1/2015 11:30:00 PM

Thanks Njeri....hugs Tim

Debbie Guzzi

Date: 3/1/2015 6:38:00 PM

When love is not returns it hurts so bad! Light & Love

Tim Smith
Date: 3/1/2015 6:42:00 PM

Thanks Debbie...he is having a hard time and missing his daughter too....hugs Tim

Sara Kendrick

Date: 3/1/2015 4:53:00 PM

Creative use of the theme of the contest..Reads like a winner to me..Way to go for the contest.Thanks for the visit by my page..Yes, the stained water is from picking up soil,etc..in the rain run off..It usually colors our water more a reddish brown so it was an unusual color..Sara

Tim Smith
Date: 3/1/2015 4:58:00 PM

Thank you dear Sara....hugs Tim

David Meade

Date: 3/1/2015 4:22:00 PM

Deep pain drives us to do harmful things to ourselves but good friends, like you, are always ready to encourage and build up . . . not easy my friend, I know you feel the pain also. . .

Tim Smith
Date: 3/1/2015 4:58:00 PM

Thanks David I surely do...just hope I can steer him in the right direction

Nathan D.

Date: 3/1/2015 3:57:00 PM

First best of luck helping your friend. People with truly broken hearts are the hardest of all to help. I love the blending of light and dark. The reflective icicles vs the dust.taillights vs smoke.the strength of an oak vs a weak heart. The constant presence of one lover vs the other one leaving and ultimately if I interpret the ending right the only way to fight the constant darkness is to accept the pain and move on. Great write. Ty for the nod

Tim Smith
Date: 3/1/2015 4:56:00 PM

Thank you Nathan for the great comment and fav

Nathan D.
Date: 3/1/2015 4:00:00 PM

P.S. A fav

Laura Leiser

Date: 3/1/2015 2:08:00 PM

Great poetry, this! A 7!

Tim Smith
Date: 3/1/2015 3:20:00 PM

Thanks Laura....hugs Tim

Emile Pinet

Date: 3/1/2015 12:33:00 PM

This is a sensuous poem swirling with the heady notions of a man’s intoxication with love and the withdrawal suffered at its loss. Emile.

Tim Smith
Date: 3/1/2015 12:40:00 PM

Thank you my good friend..Have a blessed night.....Tim

Eileen Manassian

Date: 3/1/2015 12:04:00 PM

Interesting sonnet, Tim. Stilettos can kill! ;) Lovely write...different...but creative.

Tim Smith
Date: 3/1/2015 12:12:00 PM

A friend was reaching out to me last night...His third night in a row closing a bar...It is difficult when I'm not close by...I am trying to steer him in the right direction. He agrees with what I have to offer but always seems to end up back drinking.

Rajat Kanti Chakrabarty

Date: 3/1/2015 11:50:00 AM

o "A pickled blackened heart" a telltale heart Tim >love> rajat

Tim Smith
Date: 3/1/2015 11:53:00 AM

Thanks Rajat...I am worried about him...He is spending his nights drowning his sorrows.