If He

If he hadn't what would I have been If he hadn't what sort of man would I be If he hadn't what would I have gained or lost Would I be the man I am today - or not. Without the beatings the creak of the stairs the knowing that... the fear, the fists, the pain, the hate would soon be near Would I still be so clear that I don't want another child to ever be there. Without his words of hate that tore into my mind so young would I have ever learnt the strength that can be given through words as words had beaten and taken mine. I will never know what I would have been If I hadn't seen my mother bleed If I hadn't heard my sisters screams never fell asleep exhausted shaking with fear. But whatever I could have been all I know is that what happened should have not been and despite his words that told me I would not be I love the man that is me.