Idiot Lights

The trouble with idiot lights, You see, it’s a problem That goes, perhaps, Farther than me. There's abundant ignorance That floats in the bog In a kingdom where machines Can measure breath’s grog. More than vast numbers Aggregating in crime, There's a feeling that What is happening. Somehow, isn't mine. Big obvious red light, birthed a message, idiot message on the dash. Just the observation Almost made me crash. The warning, foreboding, Read simply "check gauges.” So sitting at the light, I scanned all the stages With the sets of information A car shares on its pages. I sit, quietly confused, But the intersection’s raging. The gas tank wasn't empty, The oil read fine, The engine not hot, Battery volts seemed in line. Responding to the honks, I mosey down the road. The engine’s working fine, But my head held quite a load, Of all the problems awaiting For the idiot who couldn't interpret The idiot light code. . . . No problems yet, A small sigh escapes But I am mentally set, Will I fall for the bait? I would make a sizable bet That I am sitting On some universal debt. Then as I was using My copier that night, Beeping techno-barking message, Really set me to a fright. A word chain shackled, Scrolling a last request "Printer ink low." Sounds like an open book test. Try as I might Following precious words in sight, Then a new unique message: "Insert cartridge right." Just follow instructions? I’m ready for a fight. I opened HP's lid To see what was the matter, Then came a horrible clacking, Tic-tic-tic-clicking, Hardware techno choir prater. I shut the lid, and said a quick prayer, Hoping God could save me from taking a dare, And shooting the damn contraption Right then and there. With a web site visit, and many more clicks, I found a FAQ answer. My problem would be fixed. There within the info sheet Set my big break: “Think about it, Dummy, Did you remove the pink tape?” So now, I sit here, contemplating, Perhaps, I should consider Getting out more, and dating. The odds are better . . . with two idiots instead of one.