I Wish I Was Stronger

I sombrely sit in this cold, dingy, dark cellar, A thousand thoughts race around my mind, Some sick, some insane...most repulsive. But they are all mine. My hooded jacket clings around me hiding the cuts and slits in my skin and flesh, My mascara and heavy eye liner runs down my face and stains my cheeks. Chin on knees, bleeding arms wrapped around myself, eyes sunken and leaking. Searching through the thoughts looking for something that explains my situation. Ear phones blaring, drowning out the world, Each mirror smashed, the glass now scattered on the floor, A floor now soaked from stagnant water and blood. Now I cannot see the failure in the mirror staring back at me when I glance at it. I want to fade into this darkness, Merge with the walls and ground, Become inanimate. I wish I was stronger