I Wish I Had Headlice

I wish I had headlice, so I'd get out of work for a day. I wish I had headlice, to play hookey, I say I wish I had headlice, I could trick-or-treat alone I wish I had headlice, I'd get more loot per home!! I wish I had headlice, I'd get the block to myself I wish I had headlice, My candy, My wealth!! I wish I had headlice, my candy stash would be SOOO BIG!! But mostly, quite honestly, I wish I had headlice, 'Cause some jerk stole my EFFING WIG!!!! (TRUE STORY!!) *for the "Show me the Funny" contest!*