I Will Make Her Proud
It had only been a few days
Still unfamiliar with my grief, (it was my first time, you see...)
I was such a novice to the proper routine
Of condolences, phone calls, and flowers
Pity in the air, ...a pat on my hair, and those hesitant smiles...
Neighbors....even those we hardly knew,
Reaching out with assorted casseroles
Devil's food cake, and strange jello salads....food of all kinds
So new, this ritual, strange, obscene,
Who would eat?....How anyone could?
Our home intruded, invaded, shaded in grey
This odd assortment of long faced people milling about
I wanted to shout...."Leave us alone!" (I just wanted her home!.....)
And though I was numb, her voice filled the room
"I know you'll be strong"...
But this is so wrong...
I needed to weep, please let me sleep....please make this a dream...
Aunt Bea, who could not stop crying
Uncle Russ, pacing and sighing
Aunt Delores, tough as nails, taking command...
as if our house had taken a military stand...
Dad, who had been swallowed up by his own tomb of loss
No place to lean....for this girl of sixteen, in a world that was tossed....
Into that black horrible space, that only happened to others
It couldn't be us...it couldn't be her...I needed my mom...how could she be gone?
I felt so alone, how could I be strong??
How hard to say "Thanks"...for those kind acts intended
I was too young to know, a first step to mending
comes bearing small gifts.....comes in disguise
...just one small thing to grasp....
People are kind, as they spin their cocoons
They need to lend hands, they need to do good
But time heals all wounds..
And I've learned and I've lost,
How steep is the price and the cost
Of living and dying, of loving and striving...
It's the circle of life
Her words were a song....and I still hear the sound
I understand better now, ..and I've learned to be strong...
Today I have baked
Have made the best that I could
I'll tap on the door, in my own neighborhood...
When words aren't enough...I will bring them some food
I'll extend a kind hand, a shoulder to lend,....I will make mother proud
I can be strong...when the world has gone wrong
All the things that I should
When intentions are good.
~ ~
_____________________________________________________
Contest: Victim or Victor
Sponsor: Nayda Ivette Negron
Copyright © Carrie Richards | Year Posted 2010
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