I wanna trade in my stubby spindleshanks

I wanna trade in my stubby spindleshanks..., (a poor excuse for legs), and get me the latest sophisticated prosthetics advancements, whereat integration of cultured stem cells into custom made appendages allows, enables, and provides unfortunate recipients of amputations to experience sensations. No more will yours truly (skinny legged sexagenarian) envy amputees fitted with smart limbs equipped tricked out arms and legs, cuz he will be proud owned with false limbs (mainly legs, I did not decide about equally spindly arms) finding a once nasty, short and brutish solitary Norwegian bachelor farmer transformed into a very charming, tall and humane debonair troubadour rivaling the likes of any swain. No insult meant for those handicapped, who experience(d) phantom limb perhaps linkedin to fierce near mortal kombat, wondering if stayin alive after surviving serious wombs that killed fellow combatants trying your darndest to feel worthy earning a purple heart, (a distinguished military decoration awarded in the name of the President those who got wounded or killed while serving in the U.S. armed forces), with attendant laurels such as handsome veteran benefits, answering the call of duty nevertheless daily reminders being survivor as a foreigner waging war, when host country loathed American military as infidels, whose countrymen bathed innocent defenseless civilians in blood of barbarity. Stop saying sassy sobriquets schooled sissy spindleshanks... studious skinny scruffy scribe. Scathing, scolding, screaming, scorning, searing, sing, sociopathic sarin soaked skewed squirt, sputtering, squawking, sleepily staggering, stabbing, swaggering sweltering sadistic, sarcastic, savage, systemically systematically stigmatized, supersized saber sharp schick shaving, shunned, sabotaged, scarred, scorched, smote, sanguine, stippled, speckled schizophrenic sensibility, spurring, seething, somewhat stultified, sophisticated, spellbound spirited scabrous schlemiel schlemazel, stenciled, sundered sniveling sanguine storied snakebitten sojourning smartass, skeptical shoddy sophomoric screwball, subtly sagacious, stunted, sclerotic, scrappily shuffling short, Shylock styled sideburns Semite, sainted Shasta sipping shriveled self secluded sad sack, sullenly syncopated, synthesized, slobbering sybaritic, scruffy sheepish sketchy scalawag, Socratically scrutinizing, seizure stricken, stoically sneezing, shamed Skidrow skeezer, shifty, sweaty, sham shaman, supremely spidery, schmaltzy, sylan seeking subsidized succor, self shuttered, sequestered, sidelined, shiftless, shabby, semantically snazzy, soldiering, shrieking, skulking, somber, stooping, Segway scootering, schmart spendthrift, Swahili speaking, straitlaced, streamlined, spongebobbing, sandal shod sealegs, squarepants sporting spectacles, sedate, sensate, sentient, ship shaped, shanghaied, salubrious, slithering, snakish, stuttering, sluggish, smashface scarred, sober, solitary, sangfroid skidamarink singing, Shamokin speaking scrivener, scuzzy, spunky, starved, submissively suicidal, sunburned, salaried shuffling senescent snoutish soundcloud shutterflying snapchatting Schwenksville schnorrer.