I Swallowed My Pride

I walked up to the church (And I swallowed my pride) and asked the lady can she please step aside That my children are hungry and can you please sacrifice anything for them to eat She gave me some oranges and a couple bottle waters for them to drink tired and exhausted traveling from the capital of California To the streets of Fresno  the shelter was are destination We had nowhere else to go now im sitting in this shelter looking at these four little walls trying to soak up everything At least in these four little walls My mind can collect some peace without someone yelling nor screaming at me Homeless with five children lost on the La streets domestic violence wasn't the only reason that brought me to my knee's more like being hard headed should have listen to my peers had to bump my head a couple of good times Inorder for me to learn the true meaning of peace The definition of the struggle Been trying to maintain and juggle My reality vs the reality of humanity They judge me so hard they judge me before I even got to speak why?? because my hair's a mess Careless of how I dress frozen stairs from people looking at me like I'm some kinda of freak Look people it's called stress depression and anxiety has kicked in Now anyone's opinion of me is obsolete I hit rock bottom so fast was hard for my mind to calculate a thing Afloat I got my head a little above the water Finally can take a breathe without inhaling the water  done with people all they do is talk Literally I had to crawl Inorder to walk Fighting through this storm inorder to see the day light And What angered me Friends and family judging me thinking with open arms the government provide I had to fight for everything back in fourth through the courts for everything worked hard for everything and the Lord held my hand threw the whole damn thing... And what hurts the most when it came to my kids father Was him proving them right And all i need him to do Was show me a little love and proved But instead he mistreated me betrayal with a kiss from my lover best friend And true blood stress just wanted to be alone away from everyone Not answering my phone And wanted everyone to leave me the hell alone Lord knows I just wanted to break Yet he kept me day by day didnt understand why i had to endure so much pain would have been a relief to break didnt ask to be strong Was losing my mind because my kids didnt have a place to call home sweet home Looking to the sky at least the sky is still blue Just wanted to crumble homeless with 5 kids plus two with autism My spirit was broke felt like i was being tortured like a fish taken out of it's bowl while still alive slowly dying and being revived stuck in a twilight fighting with every element If dont know my story You couldn't relate with me Im sitting here with tear on my face   praying that i may see brighter days Stomach ach from this eternal pain Hoping and praying that this season is almost over Lord knows im humble and im forced to stay focused there's no other option the Lord gave me but to succeed for the 5 children he gave me...